“Joshua,” she said softly. “Do you know how he feels about you?”
My throat went dry. I swallowed hard and shook my head. “No,” I admitted, barely above a whisper. “I don’t.”
Not really.
Aly tilted her head, curious. “But you… want him.”
I didn’t even bother denying it. My chest felt too full, my heart too tired for lies.
“I do,” I whispered. “I want him. I want to be with him.”
The words trembled out of me, but once they were said, they didn’t feel wrong.
“They’re different, Aly. Miles and Joshua.” I turned to face her fully, resting my palms against the counter. “Miles made me feel warm, soft, like I was standing in the sun. But Joshua…” I paused, trying to find the right word. “Joshua feels like… gravity. I can’t not look at him. Can’t not care, even when I try.”
Aly smiled faintly, but her eyes were sad. “Yeah,” she said softly. “I figured.”
There was a silence between us, heavy but not uncomfortable.
Then Aly exhaled slowly, setting her bread down. And I could feel something weird in my stomach, but I pushed it aside as she spoke.
“Rora… there’s something I need to tell you.”
“What?”
She bit her lip, looking down. “We drove him away.”
My heart stopped. “What?”
“Me. Jennie. Layla. Not quite Layla… she was fine.” Her voice cracked slightly. “We thought he was still hurting you. Wethought he was playing you, pretending to care just to mess with your head, so we told him to leave you alone. To stay away from you. We told him he wasn’t good enough.”
I froze, completely froze. For a moment, I couldn’t breathe. The words echoed in my head, sharp and heavy.
Aly’s eyes filled with guilt. “We didn’t know, Aurora. We didn’t know he’d changed. We didn’t know what he’d done for you, what he meant to you. We thought we were protecting you.”
I shook my head slowly, tears already burning behind my eyes. “You—” I tried to speak, but my voice cracked. “You told him to leave?”
Aly nodded miserably. “We were cruel. We told him he was a coward, that he’d done enough damage and needed to quit while he was ahead.” Her voice broke. “We didn’t know you loved him, Rora. I’m so sorry.”
I leaned back against the counter, hand over my mouth, the tears slipping before I could stop them.
He didn’t leave because hewantedto. He left because he thought it was better for me.
Becausetheytold him to.
Aly slid off the counter and came closer, her hands hovering near my shoulders. “If I could take it back, I would. I swear, I would. I just—” She sighed shakily. “You were so broken, and I thought getting rid of him would fix it.”
I met her eyes, trembling. “You made me lose him.”
“I know.” Her voice cracked. “I know, angel. And I’m so, so sorry.”
I turned away, wiping my face, taking a deep breath to steady the shaking in my chest.
Aly’s voice came soft again, trembling. “If there’s a way to make it right, I’ll help. Whatever it takes. I’ll help you find him again.”
I whispered a quietokay… because I wasn’t sure if any of this was worth it anymore. If getting him back was even possible, but stupid little me… hoped anyway.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
