Enough to break every fucking rule I live by. For her.
I stared at the words I’d sent in the chat.
Me: I’ll host.
The replies started rolling in instantly, cheers, exclamation marks, people losing their shit like I just agreed to sell them my soul. But I wasn’t paying attention to any of it. All I saw was the possibility.
Her.Here.
I leaned back, sinking deeper into the couch, one arm over my eyes, the other resting over my legs. My mind wandered far.
Filthy. Dirty. Her.
Who the hell have I become?I thought and hated the answer before it could even form.
I admitted it to myself like a sin:I want her. I want her so badly I’ll burn down everything I’ve built to keep her near me. I want the small, private things nobody else gets to see. The way she eats, the way she fidgets, the tiny noises she makes when she’s concentrating. I want her voice to say my name because I blossomed her silence into something monstrous and beautiful in my head.
But the part of me that still breathed knew the line. I wouldn’t cross it.
Not in the world.
Not without her choice.
In reality, I’d be careful—cold and patient if I had to be—because the only thing I’d learnt for certain was that I break what I hold too tight. If she gave me anything, it must be because she wanted to, not because I took it.
I’d make the party happen, and I’d wait for consent at the door.
I was a mess. But patient enough. And I didn’t care how ugly the wanting was, I would have her, one way or another, but only if she wanted it, too.
Chapter Seven
Joshua
The guys were already bitching about the warm-up laps, feet pounding against the turf, breaths loud in the late afternoon air. I led them like always, pace steady, ears tuned to the rhythm of our steps being in sync.
That’s when I saw her.Aurora.
Folder clutched tight against her chest like it was a shield. Head down, shoulders curled in, not even daring to step onto the field, just hovering by the bleachers like she’d walked into some place forbidden. Like she was waiting for someone to kick her out.
My jaw clenched. She wasn’t disturbing anyone. She wasn’t disturbing me. If anything, I wanted to drag her ass right onto the field, sit her down where everyone could see and let her know she belonged here.
Instead, I kept running. Didn’t break stride, didn’t let the guys see me falter.
But my eyes… yeah, they betrayed me.
They kept flicking back toward her, again and again. Watching the way she pressed herself into the shadows, as if she thought the sun didn’t want to touch her either.
Pathetic
She probably thought she was in the way. That she was interrupting something. And I wanted to shout across the whole field that she wasn’t. That she could stand wherever the hell she wanted.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to raise my voice at her, ever.
So I kept my pace, every muscle tight, lungs burning, but not from the run. From the way her presence wrapped around me, even when she wasn’t doing a damn thing.
The whistle blew; last lap done. The guys peeled off toward the benches, bending over, hands on knees, groaning like they’d been through hell. I didn’t stop. Not until I crossed to her.
She noticed me coming, of course she did. She always does. Her spine straightened instantly, folder pressed tighter against her chest. Then—
