That was all I could give her.
Because I’d already taken everything else.
Okay.
The word echoed in my head long after it left my mouth. It was pathetic, small, too easy for how it felt in my chest, like something vital just cracked open and bled out quietly between us.
She didn’t look at me again. Didn’t even twitch. Just turned back to her notes, focused on them as if I hadn’t just agreed to lose her.
I leaned back against the couch, staring at the ceiling, my jaw tight, hands digging into my knees.
I’d said okay. I’d accepted it.
But I didn’t mean it. Not really.
Because when I let my mom go, I told myself I could handle it, that time would dull it, that one day it wouldn’t ache.
It’s been over a decade.
It never dulled.
And then she came.
And somehow, those years I spent suffering… blurred. The edges softened, and the air didn’t feel so sharp to breathe. But now, watching her write, this quiet, fragile girl, with my guilt on her arm, I knew losing her would be worse.
This wasn’t the same kind of pain.
This was permanent.
Because there’s no one like her.
There’s no other version of Aurora.
There’s no second chance, no replacement, no other light that flickers the same way hers does.
And if she’s really going to leave after a few weeks, if this is all I get, then I’ll take it. I’ll make the next few weeks’ worth something. Even if she never forgives me. Even if she walks away and never looks back. At least when she does, she’ll know that for once—
Joshua Lockhart tried.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Joshua
Saturday morning.
Cold. Quiet. The kind of quiet that feels wrong when you’ve been thinking too loud all night.
I shoved my hands into my hoodie and walked toward the corner store, not because I needed anything, but because staying still made me think. And thinking meant remembering.
Halfway down the street, I heard a sound.
A faint, pathetic mewl.
I turned my head and saw it: that same ginger kitten Aurora was crouched with the other night.
Still tiny. Still trembling. Still alone.
It pawed weakly at the pavement, nose twitching, fur dirty and sticking up like static.
