I take a breath and try to calm down, then I walk to the inn.
It’s silent inside. I smell the remnants of dinner—fried chicken and mashed potatoes. Takeout boxes are stacked in the kitchen trash can.
Where is everyone?
I know Maddie and Ms. Connor are at the beach house with the kids, but Scott has been staying over here every night along with his crew so they can work around the clock and consult with Garrett and Finn. They’re using it as an operational base camp.
The back door is open. I step out onto the porch.
There they are. Gathered around the pool, talking in low voices.
Finn is wrung out on a chair, eyes half-closed, with a towel around his neck. I don’t care that he looks half dead. He’s going to get a piece of my mind. I walk straight to him. Startled, his shoulders pull back.
“You could have killed them.”
He looks at the ground. “I know,” he says, his voice a rasp. “At the time, I thought we could manage it. It was the wrong call. I’m sorry.”
I stare at him, my blood hot.
Nathan walks up to me and gently puts his hand on my back as he leans in.
“Crystal, he knows it was a mistake. We’re okay now.”
I look at him. My Nathan. His face is washed out with large, puffy eyes and dry lips. The skin on his neck is still patchy with large, sickening blotches. Finn and Margaret look similarly ragged.
I’m so pissed.
They all need to rest. Not be out here planning to put themselves in danger all over again.
“Can we talk?” I ask Nathan, pointing to the back door.
Back in the kitchen, I face him.
“Nathan, I thought I could do this.” I can’t keep still, shifting my feet. “Accept who you are, but…” I swallow tears that are already in my voice. “I can’t lose you again.” I let the tears flow. I hate myself for this. I know I’m adding another burden to his shoulders, but this is self-preservation, and I have to protect Natalie’s heart just as much as mine.
“I know this is bad,” he says.
He holds the back of his neck and squeezes his brows. I can’t let him do this. Not again.
“Please. Just don’t go back. Don’t do this right now. Think of Natalie.”
“Crystal—”
“I wanted to be strong. But I’m not.”
He stares at the floor.
Guilt and anger consume me at the same time. Why can’t he just choose us?
“They need all the help they can get, and this is important.” He gently cups my shoulders. “I can help.” He closes his eyes, as if it hurts him to ask me this. “Please don’t ask me to abandon them.”
Damn him for being honorable. Damn him for thinking he can do anything.
“Nathan, please.” I hate myself for begging.
He says nothing. His body rigid, his eyes fixed to the floor. He’s not going to listen to me. He’s going to dive no matter what. What did I expect? He’s the same man.
Jamie walks in and stops when he sees us. His smile is tight, apologetic.
