Can I walk in and ask for my life back? Can I becomeNathan Carternow that I know that’s who I am?
And Fear. Oh yeah. It’s strong. But I have an uncomfortable relationship with fear. The stronger it gets, the more I want to fight it.
I think of the diver with a confident smile in the Carter’s Drop brochure. How the hell can I be him?
“Anything you want to know right now?” Scott asks, interrupting my thoughts.
“Are you the Scott who’s working with Sid to film the Drop?” He jerks his head to the right to look at me.
“Huh?”
“She’s going to ask you if I can join her crew. I’d like you to say yes.”
I hate hospitals. The harsh odor of bleach and Pine-Sol burns the back of my throat, and the empty halls buzz with mechanical sounds and hushed, clinical chatter.
Scott asked me to wait a few minutes so he could break the news to Maddie. After he told me,we’ll see,to my question about the dives, he didn’t say too much more on the way here.
“We’ll need to decide when to tell the cops. Get your identity back officially. You’re a legend, man. You’re going to get a lot of attention once everyone knows.”
We agreed it was best for me to lie low and get my bearings before involving the law.
The door opens and closes, and I hold my breath.
“She’s ready,” Scott’s voice breaks as he swipes his eyes with the back of his hand. He squeezes my arm as he passes. “I’ll wait here.” He sits on a plastic chair against the corridor wall. “Take your time.”
I put my hand on the cold doorknob. My feet feel like boulders, my throat as dry as dust. This is it. I’m going to meet my family.
After spending so long waiting for this moment, it feels surreal to be on the brink of learning more about who I am.
Without thinking about it any longer, I open the door and walk in.
A typical hospital room. But standing next to a small bassinet is my little sister. She’s a pretty woman in her late twenties, holding a sleeping baby. I’m stunned by her appearance. She’s the female version of me. Light brown hair and eyes. Freckles pepper her nose.
A small, broken sound rushes from my lungs.
She lays Christopher down without waking him and rushes to me, wrapping her arms around my chest. I feel her tears through my shirt.
“How is this possible?” She’s shaking. Mirroring her, I wrap my arms around her too. I’m stiff and awkward. And I pull away quicker than I probably should.
“Nathan.” Her strangled sob pulls at my heart.
“I’m sorry, I…”
She shakes her head, voice soft. “Scott told me. Should I call you Nathan or Elliot?”
I catch my breath. “I don’t know…”
“Did you wake up this morning expecting this?” she asks with a playful voice, widening her eyes.
“No. But I’ve been looking… for years.”
Pain flashes in her eyes.
“We’d given up hope. The police and the Coast Guard closed the case so fast. They were certain you couldn’t have survived.” She chokes back tears. “I’m so sorry for giving up on you. I should’ve come back the moment you went missing and never stopped looking.”
“Come back? Where were you?”
“Sarasota. That’s where we grew up as kids. Where I stayed until… Mom died.”
