I tried. The tears kept coming.
"Breathe," he said. "Just breathe. I've got you."
"There are others," I gasped. "On the mountain. Cal had a pack and he left them and they're still out there and I said I would find them but I don't know how, I don't know how to do any of this—"
"Lumi. Stop."
The command in his voice cut through the spiral. I went quiet, chest heaving, tears still sliding down my cheeks.
James's thumbs brushed them away. Gentle. Patient. Like he had all the time in the world.
"You don't have to figure it out right now," he said. "You don't have to fix everything right now. Right now, you just have to breathe."
"I can't—"
"You can." He pressed his forehead to mine. The bond between us blazed — his steadiness pouring into my chaos, his calm wrapping around my panic. "I'm right here. Let go."
I didn't know what he meant until I did.
Let go of the control. The pretending. The constant effort of holding myself together.
Just... let go.
A sob tore out of me. Then another. And James caught them all, pulling me into his arms, holding me against his chest while I fell apart.
He didn't try to fix it. Didn't offer solutions. Just held me, one hand in my hair, the other firm against my back, his heartbeat steady under my cheek.
The bond hummed between us. Not demanding. Just present. A reminder that I wasn't alone, had never been alone, wouldn't be alone no matter how dark things got.
"I've got you," he murmured against my hair. "I've got you, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere."
I cried until there was nothing left. Until my body was wrung out and empty and the only thing keeping me upright was his arms around me.
Then I just... breathed.
In. Out. In. Out.
Matching his rhythm. Letting his steadiness become mine.
"There you go," he said softly. "There's my girl, my little badass mountain climber."
I pulled back just enough to look at him. His face was close, his eyes dark with concern and something else. Something warmer.
"I’m so tired," I whispered. "Please. I can't— I can't be here right now."
He didn't hesitate.
"Okay," he said. "Let's go."
Chapter five
James got me out of the Healing Center without anyone seeing.
I just let him guide me through back corridors and service exits, his hand warm on the small of my back.
The morning was cold and gray. Students were starting to emerge from dorms, heading to breakfast, to early classes. Normal people living normal lives.
I felt like a ghost moving through them.
