But Essie took him back two weeks ago. Right after the clinic. Right when I moved into the penthouse permanently.
“He’s my cat,” she’d said. Not mean. Just factual. “I missed him.”
I didn’t argue. Gordo was never really mine anyway. Just borrowed. Like everything else in my old life.
But I miss him now. Miss having something warm and alive that didn’t talk back or ask me how I’m feeling or look at me like I’m about to shatter.
I close my eyes. Try to picture Anton’s face. The way his jaw tightens when he’s thinking. The way his eyes go dark when he’s about to kiss me. The way he says my name—Mary—like it’s a complete sentence.
My phone rings.
I grab it without checking. “Anton?”
“Not quite, sugar tits.”
Jasper.
I exhale. Relief and disappointment tangled together. “Hey.”
“Don’t ‘hey’ me. You sound like death.”
“Good morning to you, too.”
“Did you eat?”
“Dima already asked.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I don’t respond.
Jasper sighs. “Mary…”
“I can’t keep anything down, Jas. I try. It just comes back up.”
“Have you tried crackers? Ginger ale? Literally anything bland?”
“Yes. All of it. None of it works.”
Silence on his end. Then: “I’m coming over.”
“You don’t have to—”
“Not asking.” His voice softens. “How’s Grandma?”
My throat tightens. “She’s okay. Asking to see me.”
“Does she know?”
“About Anton leaving? No.” I press my hand to my belly. “About the baby? Also no.”
“When are you going to tell her?”
“When he comes back.”
“Mary—”
“I can’t, Jas. If I tell her now, she’ll worry. She’ll want to come here. And I can’t—” My voice breaks. “I can’t protect her if she’s here. And I can’t tell her the truth about what Anton does. So I’m just… lying. Until he comes home.”
