“Stop!” I laugh out. “Mateo, stop!” I push at his head. It’s after noon already, and he’s just dragged half a dozen orgasms from me, the last one with his tongue and fingers. I’m pretty sure I’m about to turn into a puddle of limp womanflesh. “Seriously! I can’t take anymore!”
Mateo slides up my body, making a show of licking his fingers. His face is gleaming with my juices and he’s grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“Are you sure?” he says. “Because there’s a dripping wet pussy down there that looks about ready for another ride on the Ricci steam train.”
“Dear God, I’ll die!”
“Oh, but what a way to go…” He slides between my aching thighs, and I feel the head of his cock nudging my entrance.
Holy crap!
“I thought you said you were old and needed your rest,” I gasp out as I feel myself stretching around his girth yet again.
“I was mistaken. I’ve found the Fountain of Youth.” He licks his lips, then kisses mine. I can taste my cum on him, and against all odds, something clenches inside me. “Did you know that your juices squirt out when I suck on your clit and finger you in just the right way?”
“Oh my God, I’m not listening to this!” I duck my face, but he tips my chin up with his knuckle.
“Don’t hide.” His breath is soft on my face. “It’s the fucking sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He dots a kiss on my lips. “I…” he dots another kiss, “love…” My heart pounds. “It,” he finally says.
I swallow hard. Three little words. Not the right ones.
What are you thinking, Andy?
There’s no way I want him to say “I love you” again. Mistake.Big mistake.
I manage a tight smile. I’ve already decided that this thing can’t go anywhere. And by “thing” I mean this relationship. Not the thing that’s currently buried in my core yet again. He moves his hips in lazy circles, teasing me with gentle thrusts that vary between deep and shallow. His arms cage me in as he hovers over my face.
“Beautiful girl,” he whispers against my mouth. “I could watch you come a thousand times a day and it still wouldn’t be enough.”
“I might die before then.” My voice is a hoarse croak. How can he bring me so much pleasure even as my mind stutters with confusion? The easy intimacy between us is like nothing I’ve ever known.
“That’ll never happen, princess. I’m your knight in shining armor, remember?”
“Mmm…” I sigh out. Every muscle in my body aches, and yet it feels like I still can’t get enough of this man. Though I doubt I’m going to walk properly for a week. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I shouldn’t have accepted his explanation so easily when he got home…though deep down I know he wasn’t lying. Mateo isn’t that kind of man. If he wanted someone else, he’d simply come out and tell me.
“Are you still upset about last night?” He pauses the movement of his hips and without thinking, I frown and seek more of him.
“A little…I guess,” I admit. Though probably for different reasons than I can explain to him. I shouldn’t have been jealous. Shouldn’t have given a fuck what he was up to. It’s how I’ve guarded my heart all these years – by not giving a fuck.
And it’s how I’ve guarded Kyle’s memory. My lost brother who’ll never know happiness or love. How can I have it when he never will? I feel a lump form in my throat, and somehow, suddenly, tears are threatening to spill. Mateo gathers me more closely against him. I’m pretty certain he has no idea of the real reason I’ve become so emotional, but when he kisses my eyelids, his tongue flicking the saltiness away, the floodbanks open. Dammit! I don’t cry. Ever.
“My sweet Andy…I’m so sorry…” he says low in his throat. I cling to him as he begins to move inside me again, letting him hold me like something precious and fragile. Until I nip his shoulder, urging him to go deeper, take me harder…the way I need it. And, for a while, I let the pleasure wash away the pain, just the way I’ve always done for so many years. Sobs mingle with my cries of ecstasy, and I know he has no idea that making love to him is exorcising the demons that have hunted me down all my life.
When I feel him withdraw from my body and curl himself around me like a warm, blanket of strength, I let myself go limp.
“Better now?” He presses a kiss to my ear, and then my shoulder. I nod, twining my fingers through his and pulling his hands up to my face. It’s comforting to lay like this. Easy to imagine that I could have a regular life. A regular love.
“I won’t do that to you again.”
“It’s okay.” My voice is husky. “I know you were doing what you needed to. It’s just that…”
“Just that…?”
“I wonder sometimes, you know? About my brother…” I feel him stiffen against me. Maybe mentioning my dead brother isn’t the best thing to do after we’ve just been so intimate. But these are thoughts that are never far from my mind. Especially with all that’s been going on lately.
“What do you wonder about?” His lips brush my shoulder again.
“Just that…” I heave out a breath. “Just…why. Why would he do it – if he did it at all. Kill himself, I mean. It doesn’t make sense to me. It never did.”
