“Fruit and yogurt?” Manuel asks with a smile as I sit down. I nod, looking around. “Mr. Dario has taken Dani to school,” he says, correctly interpreting my glance. He sets a bowl down in front of me, then turns to fetch me a glass of fresh orange juice. I trace patterns in my bowl with my spoon. I’ve no appetite for this.
Ten minutes later, the stuff has grown warm. The fruit is a sticky pulp. I reach for my phone and call Andy.
“I need to talk,” I say. My voice is husky. Yet again, I’m close to tears. She picks up on my mood immediately.
“My shift only starts this afternoon. Come around to my apartment,” Andy says without pressing for details. Before I’ve even unburdened on her, the relief is overwhelming. Andy will know what to do. She always does.
Of course, I hit another low point when Manuel arranges a car for me, and I realize I’ll be going in with a driver. Otto is polite and discreet, but his mere presence is a reminder of what I am.
A prisoner here.
One look at my face as I walk through her front door is enough to have Andy’s arms wrapping around me. I sink into her embrace and dissolve into tears.
“Oh, babe,” she sighs, running soothing hands up and down my back as I sob. “Let it all out.” I don’t know how long it takes to regain my composure, but I feel completely wrung dry when I’m done.
Andy leads me into her sitting room and guides me to a seat on the sofa. She heads into the kitchen to get us each a coffee. The familiarity of her stylish apartment is a welcome change from the gilded cage I’ve lived in for the past couple of weeks. When she returns with two mugs and sits beside me, she waits as I try to collect my thoughts.
“I don’t know what to do, Andy,” I murmur, staring into the frothy contents of my cup.
“Is he a pig? Is he treating you like shit, babe?” she asks. I know she’s looking at my face and seeing the shadows beneath my eyes, the hollows under my cheeks.
“Yes,” I whisper, then, “No. I don’t know. It’s not like I’m chained up in a dungeon or anything, but…”
“Does he hurt you?” Her face is serious. There’s no evidence of the usual Andy with all her sly sexual innuendos. I don’t know how to answer her question.
“A little…in ways that I love.” I feel my cheeks flush as I say it. The spankings, the rough sex. I never dreamed I’d get off on that stuff. I just can’t say no to the man. I can see that Andy is itching to say something typically “Andy” but is smart enough to know that now is not the time. She rubs my shoulder and waits for me to go on.
“It’s what he’s doing to my heart—” I stop myself, not wanting to say it out loud, to give these thoughts voice. It might make them real.
“You’re developing feelings for him,” she says softly. I feel tears threaten again. I’d thought that well had run dry. I give a tiny nod. “That’s normal, babe. You’re not wired for sex without emotions attached.” She rubs my arm more firmly. “This is a freaky situation. Do you want me to take this to the authorities? You know I can make some calls…”
She stops as I shake my head. It’s insane. I should be jumping at the chance to get away from him. But my sister…I can’t risk Sophie getting dragged into all this. And for some reason, I don’t want her to.
“He just…scares me sometimes,” I tell her. “The things he does.” I press my lips together.
“Is he making you do anything you don’t want to do?” she presses. I can’t answer that. I change track slightly.
“Yesterday, he saw me flirting with someone.” I swallow hard. “I don’t know why I did it. Maybe because I just wanted to feel like I had some sort of control.” She nods for me to go on. “He broke the guy’s arm, Andy.” My voice goes hoarse. “Just for touching me. And when we got home…” I shake my head. “It was brutal.”
“He hit you?” Her expression is deadly serious. I shake my head. Although in some ways, what he did was worse. “He forced you?” Her voice grows low. There’s no joking around now. But I can’t answer her. I’d told him not to stop…begged him. I’d wanted him so badly.Why, dammit? What’s wrong with me?
“He was so angry with me,” I finally say. “It upset me to know that I’d made him feel that way. Is that fucked up? Do you think…I have battered woman syndrome or something?” I rub the place between my eyes and heave a breath.
“I’m not a psychologist, hon,” she says. “As a girlfriend, what I’d say is that you have a serious case of the hots for a man who’s probably pretty fucking bad.” Her mouth is set in a grim line. “I’m going to admit that I’m worried about you. If you ever need to leave, you let me know immediately, okay?”
I nod. Perhaps the day will come. Right now, I’m just overwhelmed by something I don’t understand.
“I wish I was as strong as you are,” I sigh.
“Babe, you’re plenty strong,” Andy says with a smile. “In different ways. I’m all bluster and bravado. You’re strong where it matters.” She puts a palm over my chest. “You’re strong in here. Don’t forget that.” I smile back at her and put my hand over hers.
“Thank you for listening.”
“Anytime,” she replies. “Do you want to stick around for lunch?”
I rise reluctantly. “I need to get back. Dani will be home from school soon.”
She draws me into another hug, then sees me to the door. “Call anytime, okay? Day or night.”
