Chapter 8
A Chance, please?
Samuel Foster
Arielle is gazing at me, as if waiting for me to say something. I know she doesn’t want to press right now – the emotions are still so raw. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. It’s like my entire world has turned upside down.
“Come away with me,” I blurt out on impulse. Her eyes widen, confused...she has to be. I’m confused too. I have no idea what I’m asking.
“What? Sam, I—” she starts, then shakes her head. “Come away where?” She’s aiming surreptitious looks at the doorway and I know she’s thinking about Austin. I need to let her check on him, but I need to have this conversation more. Still, I feel her anxiety around her son as keenly as the sensations that are swirling in my own heart. Everything feels more extreme right now, as if my emotions are running just beneath the surface of my skin.
“I... I can’t stay here anymore. There’s nothing to stay for anyway. Apart from you.” I meet her eyes, my own are intense. I can feel it. “Let’s leave. Let’s go away. Bali... Mexico...” I haven’t thought this through, and I know I’m sounding crazy. She licks her lips, but I surge ahead, not wanting her to speak, in case she says what I know she must be thinking of saying.
“India,” I continue. “There are so many people in need out there. We could go someplace where we can make a difference in the world. A place where people need us,” I say. Ideas are forming wildly in my head.
“Sam... People need us here,” she says softly. I don’t want to hear it, but she puts her hand on my arm. “I have a life here, Sam, and this is where Austin’s world is. He’s never known anything else.”
I’m shaking my head. Grief has shaken my ability to listen objectively. All I know is what I want, and I want to get out of this place with its memories and its pain. Plus, I’ve burned too many bridges here, but I can’t tell her that. I want a fresh start away from all of this. I want a fresh start with Arielle and Austin.
“He’ll learn to know something else,” I say, sounding breathless even to my own ears. “We’ll be a family. We can start over.”
“I don’t want to start over. I already have a family, Sam, and they’re here,” she says firmly. “My in-laws, my mother and sister. My job. Even Tim.”
I snort at her words, feeling frustration rise. “Tim!” I snap. “He’s not your friend. He’s only hanging around because he thinks he has a chance with you. What single man would spend so much time with a woman unless he has plans to get into her pants?”
“That’s not true!” she snaps back, but I can see there’s something in her expression that makes me sure I’m not off track. “He’s my friend… More importantly, he wasSteve’sbest friend. He would never do that to Steve’s memory. Neither would I.”
“Steve is dead, Arielle!” I bite out. “You can’t live your life loving a man who’s gone forever...let’s face it, that’s what’s really holding you back here. Your dead fucking husband.”Jesus, where did that come from?It’s obvious to me that I’m not thinking clearly, and of course, I regret the words as soon as they’re out.
Arielle’s face goes pale. I’ve gone too far.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I—” I begin, but I see the shutters slam down. I may have lived through a world of mayhem in the last day, but I have to pull myself together. And I have to slow down. Our brand new relationship isn’t ready for this kind of upheaval yet…or the demands I’m making. We’ve just found each other. I want to say that to her. I want to tell her to give us a chance.Please give us a chance.
“I think we’ve said enough for one day,” she says coldly, pulling the gown closer around herself. She breaks eye contact and turns to the door and I hear her making her way up the stairs. There’s no sense in trying to stop her; neither of us is in the right space for that right now. I slump down on the couch and drop my face into my hands.
When I finally hear the front door slam behind her, I know I’ve fucked things up completely.
