I can’t help but laugh. “That might be a better description,” I agree.
“So, you guys are getting along now?” she inquires.
I open my mouth, ready to spill the beans to my best friend; but for some reason, I want to keep our secret just a little bit longer. So, I choose the coward’s way out and simply say, “Sometimes.”
She cocks a brow at me. I think deep down Darby knows I’m holding back information from her; but we both have a tendency to not push each other until the other one is ready. And I am so thankful for that in this moment, because I’m just not ready.
Darby pulls a lighter out of her pocket and lights the candle. “Well, go ahead and make a wish, birthday girl.”
“It’s not until another week.”
“I know that. You know that. But fuck it, let’s eat this delicious cake that your enemy picked out and had delivered.” Then she stops and her eyes widen. “You don’t think he poisoned it, do you?”
I laugh at that. “No, I don’t think he would do that.” And then I add, “Well, not anymore.” Because maybe at one point, I would have second-guessed anything Dimitri would have sent to my door. But now I feel like I know him. I know he wouldn’t hurt me on purpose.
After I blow out my candle and make yet another wish for things to be different, Darby and I dig into the cake. I don’t know what bakery Dimitri ordered it from, but it’s phenomenal. The best black forest cake I’ve ever had in my entire life.
Later, when I’m alone in my room that night, I text Dimitri.
Me:Thank you for the cake.
The response is almost immediate, as if he were waiting for me to text him.
Dimitri:You’re welcome.
I set my phone down, not wanting the temptation to keep the conversation going. After what happened earlier, my mind and my heart are torn. I don’t want Pavel to get in trouble for his indiscretions and his secret, just like I don’t want to get into trouble for mine. But the thought of marrying someone who could never love me back is gut-wrenching, to say the least. I always thought there would be a chance between Pavel and me; that we could maybe someday grow to love each other if this is the way things had to be. But now it seems like the only thing I have to look forward to is a long, loveless marriage that will no doubt be full of deceit and infidelity.
And I know I can’t keep things going with Dimitri after the wedding, even though I will still want to. I can’t expect him to throw his life away, always being in second place and sneaking around with a married woman. I want him to be happy. I want him to find someone, even if it feels like I’m dying inside when I think of him with another girl.Like Irina.The tall, pretty blonde that was at the party with supermodelesque features who can speak hislanguage and could probably give him beautiful babies and the kind of life he deserves.
Turning, I scream into my pillow, and wow, it feels good to release some of that pent-up tension. “Life is so unfair,” I mutter as I toss and turn in bed. I doubt if I’ll get any sleep tonight. My mind is literally on overdrive. Even though I’ve fallen hard for Dimitri, I know what I need to do now. I need to lock that shit down and keep it to myself. I need to bury my feelings deep inside of me so that no one ever knows, especially not Dimitri. It’s the only way to keep both of our hearts from completely breaking.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
Savina
“GO TAKE A shower.We’re going out tonight, bitch,” Darby announces from my bedroom door after she barges with no warning.
“What if I would’ve been naked in here?” I question her.
“I’ve seen you naked before, and I’ll probably see you naked again,” she says with a shrug.
She’s right. We’ve both seen each other naked numerous times over the years of our friendship. Sighing loudly, I tell her, “I just want to stay home tonight and…read.”
“Okay, now I know you’re lying. First of all, I’m the reader of this friendship, and no one reads more than me. And evenIwant to put my book down, which is full of dark mafia romance smut, mind you, and take you out.” She walks into my room and pulls on my hand, yanking me out of bed. “You’ve been sulking in your room for the past week, and I don’t like it. It’s youractualbirthday today, and we are going out. End of story!” she cries.
It is my birthday. My twenty-third birthday. The very one I’ve been dreading since I was thirteen years old. But there have been so many twists and turns in the past several months, that now I’m dreading it for a whole new reason; not because I have to marry Dimitri, but because, ultimately, I’m not.
“Shower,” Darby demands, pushing me out the door and towards the bathroom.
“God, you’re strong!” I tell her, not being able to push back or resist her strength.
“All those self-defense classes are paying off,” she says with a huge grin.
“Wait, you take those?” I ask before she shoves me into the bathroom and slams the door in my face.
“Yes,” I hear her say from the other side of the door.
“Huh. Maybe I’ll go with you next time.”
