I realize after I’ve talked to pretty much everyone here that the one person I haven’t seen so far is Dimitri. He’s nowhere to be found, but I swear I can feel his gaze burning a hole in the back of my head. My eyes scan the room, trying to find him in amongst the crowd, but no one even comes close to his height or build. Honestly, I don’t really know whether I want to see him or not. Our last interaction was the night of the costume ball, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.
Our time apart has only made me even more confused and angry. The thing that pisses me off the worst; however, is the fact that I miss him. And I hate that I miss him when he probably hasn’t even thought of me once over the past week. If he had, he would have texted me or called or come to see me. Yet, I’ve heard nothing from him. He completely ghosted me in true, typical Dimitri fashion.
After saying hello to yet another guest I must have missed, I spot Dimitri’s father and Pavel gathered in a corner with some of their relatives and Pavel’s bodyguard. I walk over to thank them for coming, scanning the group for Dimitri but coming up empty.
Where the hell is he? Did he not come to my birthday party? And why do I care? I don’t even want to see him. Right? I mean, I kind of do. In a way. Maybe.Oh, my god,my conscience can’t even make up her damn mind. That bitch is just as confused as I am.
“Could Dimitri not make it?” I question his father when we’re alone.
“Oh, he’s here somewhere,” he answers.
A part of me wants to see him because out of all the people who could formulate a plan to get me the hell out of my own birthday party, it would be him. But for right now, I have to suffer in silence and try to get through as much of this night as I can. “Excuse me for a moment,” I tell Mr. Sokolov before escaping into the powder room.
I shut the door and walk over to the sink, almost collapsing against it. I consider myself more of an introvert, and all of these social events have really been taking a toll on my mental health. Sucking in a long, deep breath before exhaling slowly, I stare at myself in the mirror.God, this is going to be such a long night.
I’m thinking about climbing out the window and running away when I hear the doorknob turning. I’m about to say, “someone is in here,” but then I see a tall, dark figure pushing his way through the door before closing it behind him.
“Dimitri,” I whisper. Even though I didn’t see him earlier, I swear I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. Sometimes I think I’m paranoid, but it seems like he’s always watching me.
He strolls in the small room, eating up all the space in the process. His tailored, black three-piece suit clings to his muscular body like a suit of armor. He looks so damn handsome that it’s really unfair. I’m mad at him. I want to stay mad at him. But when he looks like this, it’s so damn hard to stand my ground.
Dimitri moves behind me, meeting my gaze in the mirror, and I’m having some sort of déjà vu moment. We were both in this very bathroom at my engagement party after he crossed so many lines at the dinner table. That’s when everything turned on its head. So much has happened since then. So much has changed.
But considering I haven’t heard from him since last weekend when he did nefarious things to me in the hedge maze and then left me soaking wet but devastated, I feel an overwhelming sense of hurt and anger towards him now. He discarded me like a piece of trash, and I want him to know that I’m not going to put up with that type ofbehavior. And so, when I see his hand in the reflection reach for me, I call out, “Don’t.”
He doesn’t listen, of course, and I feel his hand snaking its way up my body until he wraps it around my neck. He pulls me closer so that I’m pressed up against him, and I can feel his growing arousal digging into the small of my back.
Breathing in his familiar, masculine scent has my core tightening like a Pavlovian response, and I practically melt into him against my will. “I’m mad at you,” I say even though my body is clearly disagreeing with me.
“I know,” he breathes against my ear. “I’m sorry, Savina.”
I stare at him in the mirror, expecting him to smile or smirk, but he’s actually serious. I don’t think Dimitri has ever sincerely apologized to me before, and he’s done a lot of terrible things in the time that I’ve known him.
“I fucked up that night,” he continues. “I let my emotions take control, and I shouldn’t have. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.”
We’re both quiet for a long time as I try to absorb his words. I think back to that night. I almost told him how I feel. How I really feel. Maybe he sensed it. Maybe he was just as scared as I was, and so he pushed me away instead of talking about it or dealing with the truth. I’m still mad about the whole ordeal, but I guess a part of me is willing to forgive him for not wanting to get hurt. I don’t want to get hurt either, and yet we keep finding each other. We keep fooling around behind everyone’s back. It’s like we both know there’s a dangerous, steep cliff at the end of this ride, but we keep going anyway, enjoying the thrill until what will ultimately be an inevitable demise.
“You didn’t text me back,” I whisper, breaking the silence.
“I know, I’m sorry for that too. This week has been fucking chaotic,” he says with a heavy sigh, his chest rising and falling against my back, and I can almost feel the weight of his words. “Your father is trying to start a war with the Irish, and I’ve been working on the front lines to try to keep everyone from killing each other.”
I’m surprised he’s telling me this. My father never talks about his work with me. I’ve always been left in the dark ever since I can remember. I mean, when I was a little girl, I thought my father sold real estate or something normal like that, because what he actually did for money was simply never discussed around me. That’s how it usually is with made men. They keep their business secret unless it’s tortured out of them.
“I’ve wanted to see you. Trust me, only a war could drag me away from you,” he tells me before kissing the shell of my ear and causing a shiver to run through me. “Did you miss me,privighetoarea mea mica?” he asks.
And like the damned fool that I am, I give him a nod followed by a whimper as he tightens his hand around my neck.God, I wish I knew what he’s saying when he calls me that.I want to ask him, but all of my rational thoughts go out the window the moment I feel his other hand touching my bare thigh.
“This dress,” he starts, his fingertips touching the hem that hits right at my thighs. “Do you know how sexy you look in this dress?”
I shake my head. It’s just something I threw on. I didn’t even put much thought into it really. It’s just a simple, purple cocktail dress.
Dimitri slowly lifts the hem, exposing my matching purple thong. He sucks in a ragged breath as he watches me in the mirror. “Your body was made for sinning, Savina,” he tells me in a whisper against my ear. “And I would gladly go to hell just to be able to touch and taste you.”
My panties grow damp at his words. Only Dimitri has ever had that effect on me. His accent, his inflection when he speaks; it’s intoxicating.
He releases me suddenly and takes a step back. “Bend over the sink and lift your dress,” he demands.
I know we shouldn’t be doing this. And we definitely shouldn’t be doing this here, in my father’s home,again. But it’s like my bodyhas a mind of its own, and I can’t help but obey him. Taking my time, I slowly bend over. My fingers are trembling with anticipation as I grip the hem of my skirt and begin to inch it up my thighs, stopping just at the bottom of my cheeks. I freeze, daring him to beg me for more.
