When I pull back the curtain, I can see the horrified expressions on everyone’s faces.
“White?” Evelyn asks with a scrunched nose.
“That’s what I said,” Cosette clarifies, before sticking her nose up in the air arrogantly.
“I can…check,” Evelyn offers hesitantly before leaving.
“She wants to wear white to your wedding?” Darby hisses from her dressing room. We both step out at the same time, and Darby asks, “Does she thinkshe’sthe one getting married?”
“Apparently,” I say with a shrug before walking over and grabbing a flute of champagne off the table. I take a big swig of it, not caring if I’m messing up my lipstick. I’m going to need all the alcohol I can get my hands on just to get through today. “If she wants to look like an idiot, then let her. I could give two fucks about her or this wedding,” I mumble miserably.
Darby grimaces and puts her hand on my shoulder, patting it gently for support. “It’s gonna be okay, Savina. Everything will work out. I promise,” she says reassuringly.
I wish I had just an ounce of my friend’s confidence, but the truth of the matter is that Pavel doesn’t love me. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even like me. We have absolutely nothing in common. Meanwhile, I’ve been fooling around with his brother, skirting danger at every turn and clinging to the rush, because it takes my mind off of all the other drama and bad things happening in my life.
“I’m so screwed,” I say out loud before downing the last of the champagne.
“Another glass?” Ava offers.
“No,” Cosette pipes up from the other side of the room. “Empty calories,” she sing-songs in reminder.
I scowl at her.
“Here,” Darby says, handing me her full glass when Cosette’s back is turned. “Drink mine.”
“Thanks,” I tell her before chugging the contents.
“Empty calories my ass. We need vats of alcohol to deal with her overbearing ass today,” Darby says, and I nod in agreement. “I think I’m getting this one,” Darby announces before glancing down at the lavender-colored chiffon dress she’s currently wearing. It’s short and cute and fits her like a glove, emphasizing all of her curves in the very best way. She sticks her hands under the material and says excitedly, “The best part is that it has hidden pockets!”
I laugh. Just the fact that Darby is excited over hidden pockets is a win for today in my book.
“What do you think of this dress?” I ask her, but she gives me a thumbs down.Figures. Maybe I won’t findthe onetoday. It’s definitely looking like a possibility. Returning to the dressing room, I try on yet another gown before emerging. Darby is sitting in the corner in her regular clothes, clearly done with trying on dresses after finding her perfect one, as she rapidly types away on her phone.
“So, Savina, what do you think of this one?” Ava asks, hopefulness dripping from her tone.
“Oh, I didn’t even look in the mirror yet,” I confess. Moving towards the little platform in the center of the room that’s surrounded by mirrors, I carefully step up onto it. A little gasp fliesfrom my mouth when I see the delicate lace and beading details on the beautiful mermaid style dress. It fits my figure perfectly, showing off what little curves I have and accentuating all the best parts.
“Wow,” Darby whispers as she slowly stands, her mouth hanging open. “Oh my god, Savina. You look gorgeous!”
Instantly, my mind goes to what Dimitri would think of this dress. I think he would love it. Moreover, I think he would love taking it off of me. I’d be driving him crazy all night if I wore a dress like this, and it makes me want it even more.
But then, realization dawns on me that I’m not going to be wearing it for Dimitri. I’m going to be wearing it for his brother. And when I think of Pavel’s reaction to the same dress, I can only imagine his indifference. I can only focus on how unimpressed he would be. I’ll probably be able to count on one hand the number of times he even glances my way during the ceremony and reception. I wonder if he’ll even kiss me when the priest instructs us to? No, I doubt if he’ll even do that. He’d probably hesitate, not even wanting to do it but forcing himself to give me a quick peck just to appease the people in the audience.Oh god.I can picture the trainwreck of a ceremony in my head as if it’s already happened.
Tears slowly fill my eyes. And the longer I stare at myself in the reflection, the more tears that gather, blurring my vision.
“This is your wedding, Savina, not a funeral,” Cosette reprimands me.
She’s right. But in my mind, they’re one in the same. My life will be over once I marry Pavel. I don’t know why I think that. I just do. What if we’re both miserable for the rest of our lives?
A few stray tears stream down my cheeks, and Cosette grumbles, “Your mascara is going to run.”
Darby stands up and grabs my hand. “I think we’re done for the day, ladies,” she announces to the room. My best friend always seems to know when I’m running on empty, even before I do. “I think we foundthedress. Isn’t that right, Savina?”
I give her an emphatic nod. Even if this wasn’tthedress, I justwant to get out of it. More importantly, I want to get the hell out of here. This day has been overwhelming, to say the least, and my social battery is completely drained, thanks to my overbearing stepmother.
The attendant follows Darby and I into the changing room, and the three of us help me out of the gown. It goes way quicker with Darby’s help. And then they leave while I finish getting dressed in my normal attire.
When I’m done and emerge from behind the curtain, Darby offers, “Let’s go get some food to soak up all this alcohol.”
