"Jax!" I cry out. And it only takes a few more thrusts before he's growling out my name and joining me in our powerful bliss.
He collapses, barely catching himself at the last second, completely boneless atop of me and breathing hard against my neck and whispering words I can't hear.
After several minutes of lying there with our racing heartbeats competing against one another, we finally catch our breath. Jax pulls out of me gently and disposes of the condom. He disappears into his adjoining bathroom and comes out a minute later with a warm washcloth to wash away the evidence of our lovemaking.
I can't help the smile forming on my face as I watch him take care of me. And I'll admit it's nice, so fucking nice to feel cared for and to be so trusting of another human being.
He dries me with a soft towel and disappears into the bathroom once again. While I wait for him to return, a faint spark of doubt clouds my mind. Jax and I have never slept together in the same bed before. Will he kick me out? Tell me to go to my room?
Feeling torn, I quickly scramble to the edge of the bed just as Jax emerges. "Where you going?" he asks with a cocked brow.
"Uh," I start, but not knowing how to finish.
"Stay with me tonight," he says, completely erasing any doubt from my mind.
I give him a single nod and climb back into bed. And when Jax pulls my back against his chest and tucks me in close to him before pulling the blanket up over us, I let out a shaky sigh of relief.
It feels so nice to be touched without fear and to feel safe in his arms. I don't remember the last time I felt so safe. And just for tonight, I allow myself to dream of a future with Jax in it.
A future whereweexist…together…and happy.
* * * * * * *
LATE INTO THE night, I'm awoken by a beeping sound. Jax stirs next to me and groans. When he unwraps his arms to go check his cell phone, I instantly miss his warmth. Something happened between us tonight. We didn't just fuck. Jax made love to me.
It was wonderful and magnificent…and every other synonym in the thesaurus.
I finally feel like we're on the same page. Like we could truly be happy together and make things work.
I just wish I didn't constantly have the little black cloud over my head warning me of things to come.
And when Jax's phone lights up, illuminating the dark room and he hisses out, "Holy shit," I can almost feel the dark cloud growing bigger, foreboding of bad things to come.
I sit up quickly. "What? What's wrong? What is it?" I whisper into the darkness.
"It's Lucien. He found a lead on Adeline." He stumbles out of bed, yanking on a pair of sweatpants.
"Did he find her?" I ask, swallowing hard.
"God, I hope so," he says, his voice dripping with excitement and worry all at the same time.
I stare after him as he leaves his bedroom, not even bothering to shut the door. He's rushing to find information about this girl…
I wonder what will happen when she's back in his life. Will Lucien and Jax fight for her attention, for her love? Will Jax win in the end?
It's obvious that he's in love with the girl. Just the sound of her name coming from someone's lips lights up his entire face. I don't know if Lucien knows about his secret admiration. I have about half a mind to tell him, but I don't want Jax to get hurt…even if he's hurting me in the process.
No, I decide to just sit back and wait. But one thing I'm definitely going to do in the meantime is re-erect the walls around my heart again. Because I have a feeling Jax is going to completely crush me, and there won't be any coming back from it.
CHAPTER 33
JACKSON
I RUN THE entire way from my bedroom to Lucien's office, screwing up the code three times before finally putting the right one in. I barrel through the door, my body feeling like I just ran a goddamn marathon. I put my hands on my knees, sucking in air. "What…did…you…find?" I ask Lucien between pants.
"She activated the watch. I'm waiting for the data to upload," he states calmly.
I straighten and narrow my eyes at him. "So…you have nothing?"
