I can't possibly trust her.
And I just let her do something I've never let any woman do before — have me alone and vulnerable.
Feeling strange and, quite frankly, a little bit pissed off, I quickly tug my boxer briefs and jeans up and tuck myself back into them. "We…we should not have done that," I tell her quickly.
She stares at me with wide eyes as she slowly rises to a standing position. "Maybe you should have thought about that before you shoved your dick down my throat," she snaps angrily.
Fuck, she's mad. And she probably has every reason to be mad, but, hey, she's the one who initiated it. It's too late to cry foul now.
But instead of making things right or trying to make anything better, as I should, I turn and leave her there. Alone.
CHAPTER 20
KATYA
EVEN THOUGH I want to stay in bed all day and cry, I force myself to go to the gym the next morning. There's something I definitely need to do, and it can't wait any longer.
Wraith is running on the treadmill, barely breaking a sweat even though he's running faster than I've ever seen anyone run before. He's more than human — he's like a machine.
When I walk over to him, he doesn't so much as glance my way, and there's a sour look on his face like he can't even stand to be in the same room as me.
And I hate to admit it…but it hurts.
Wraith was beginning to become a friend to me. Perhaps my only friend.Ever. And I ruined that by being selfish and using him when I had no right to.
"Listen, I'm sorry about last night," I begin, but he doesn't let me finish.
"You used me to get to Jackson," he explains. "I understand why you did it, Katya," he says, spitting my name out like it's a curse, "but that doesn't make it right."
Wow, I really pissed him off. Yes, I did use him last night, and I feel sorta bad about it, but he understands why I did it all the same. "I'm sorry," I tell him sincerely, placing my hand over his bulging forearm.
He shakes off my touch and hits a button on the treadmill. The belt begins to slow as well as his pace until he finally comes to a dead stop. "Don't do it again," he warns.
"I won't," I promise. And I'm being honest…this time. I feel bad for hurting his feelings. Perhaps I was leading Wraith on to reach my end goal to get to Jackson, which only partially worked. Yes, we ended up making out and I ended up on my knees…but he left me afterwards like I was just some used-up whore. The moment he got off, he was out the door, leaving me confused and definitely unsatisfied.
I could see the look of regret on Jackson's face, and it hurt me deeply — way more than I'd ever admit to him.
"Mats," Wraith growls, pulling me from my thoughts, before trotting away to the other side of the gym.
Sighing, I reluctantly follow him. Today's lesson with him isn't going to be an easy one. In fact, he's probably going to end up leaving bruises.
But in all honesty…I deserve them this time.
CHAPTER 21
JACKSON
I FUCKED UP.
Katya has been ignoring me for the past couple of days with a look on her face that can only be described aswounded.
But instead of making things right, I've been ignoring her right back. I have bigger things on my plate right now, and I can't even begin to sort through the shit that's going on with Katya.
This morning, when I made my usual trip to Lucien's room, he moved his fingers. It could have been an automatic reflex to stimuli, but I'm hopeful that it's a sign he's regaining consciousness. I've lessened the drugs that could inhibit him from waking up.
And so, there's nothing else to do but wait.
Wraith and I visit Lucien's room together late that evening. Maria excitedly springs out of her seat to tell me that Lucien's eyes were fluttering. I don't want to get her hopes up just in case everything doesn't work out, so I just listen to her and nod and give her a forced smile.
