CHAPTER 30
LUCIEN
THE WATCH I made for Adeline catches my eye over dinner, and I can't help but notice how much more she's smiling and talking. In fact, I can't remember the last time she talked so much during dinner.
While Adeline talks about New York City as if it's some truly magical place, Jax is practically beaming, looking completely enamored.
And I know exactly how he feels.
I know if I was capable of loving anyone, I could possibly love Adeline. She would be so easy to fall for.
Her fingers skim over the bracelet of the watch, and she looks up at me with a huge smile on her face. "Lucien gave me this today," she tells Jax, and she actually sounds…proud. Of the watch or of me or maybe both. I'm not sure.
But I can hear that forgotten muscle deep inside my chest beat once again under all the thick layers of tar and muck that have kept it hidden for so long.
Jax sends me an enigmatic look before he tells Adeline, "That was very thoughtful of him."
I'm sure he knows of my true intentions since he saw me installing some of the hardware in the watch the other day.
I built the watch almost entirely from scratch. It does a lot of the same tasks a fitness tracker does, except it's more advanced for my purposes. It contains a GPS tracker, and it's synced with my phone and computers so I know where she'll be at all times of the day.
The GPS will help us build a level of trust. It will alert me if her heartbeat reaches a certain level or if she strays too far away from the mansion. If she's trying to run, I will know almost instantly and be able to stop her.
I hope it never comes to that, but it's nice to know she'll never be able to leave me. If my security system and guards don't catch her, I can rely on the bracelet to do its job. The three-tier system should be foolproof.
* * * * * * *
AFTER DINNER, I retreat to the library with a glass of scotch. Adeline went up to her room to change into something, as she put it, more comfortable, but I expect her to be down shortly.
It feels weird to know she's roaming the halls of my mansion without a guard or me, and I can't help but check my phone for the tenth time in the past fifteen minutes to track her movements.
"She's in her room, right where she said she'd be," I mutter to myself.
I force myself to tuck my phone back into my pants pocket, and I take a sip of the dark liquid, relishing in the burn running down my throat.
I've never been much of a drinker, but I enjoy a good scotch now and then. I like to remain clearheaded and stay away from any substance that might be considered addictive. I know that all stems from my childhood and growing up with a drug-addicted whore of a mother who slept with anyone who supplied her with booze and pills. However, she had been devoid of reality for a long time, maybe even before I was born.
I was an unfortunatemistake.
My mother told me so. Many times.
I went through withdrawal from heroin soon after I was born. I spent an entire month in the NICU while I suffered from neonatal abstinence syndrome, or at least that's what my medical records tell me.
Memories from my childhood blur together. There are no happy memories, just nightmares that keep me up at night.
When I was finally rescued at the age of twelve by my rich uncle, many told him I was too far gone to be saved and that he should throw me into a mental institution.
I can't say I really blame them for their opinion of me, though. I mean, I barely spoke a word, couldn't make eye contact and had already developed a lot of nervous tics and social anxieties.
I was also extremely socially inept. Always assuming the worst in people. Always assuming they were going to hurt me even when they claimed tolove me.
My mother had made sure to instill my fear of love right from birth. She had claimed to have loved me with all of her heart, but all she ever gave me was pain and misery.
I associated love with pain.
I still do.
My uncle must have had a heart of gold, though, because he never gave up on me. He spent money on the best doctors, the best therapists, eventually getting me to function like a normal human being at a rate so fast that it shocked all of my doctors.
