My hand automatically reaches for her, but I stop short of touching her. Instead, I hush her and tell her that everything's going to be okay.
Eventually, Adeline's features smooth out, and she relaxes once more into a deep sleep. She doesn't utter my name again, and I'm glad for that.
Taking one last lingering gaze at the sleeping beauty, I quietly leave her room.
Even though Adeline may look like she just stepped out of a fairytale, I can't let myself believe that I'm her Prince Charming.
I'm nothing more than the dark villain in her story.
And my black soul can never be redeemed.
CHAPTER 17
ADELINE
THIS IS CRAZY.
I keep repeating those words over and over again in my brain. They ricochet off the sides of my skull and come back like a boomerang.
I'm making the finishing touches on the makeup I borrowed from Maria, and then I stand back from the mirror to admire the final product.
My eyes are smoky and alluring. My lips are brushed with a glossy pink lipstick. My body is covered in a black and green lace chemise complete with matching thong, and black stockings. And my long, chestnut-brown hair is falling down my shoulders and back in soft waves.
I don't look like myself. I look like another person entirely. And that feeling of taking on another persona is the only thing that's going to get me through tonight. I have to detach and become someone else, or I'll never make it out of here mentally intact.
I slowly skim my hands down the length of my body. I'm trembling with anticipation…mixed in with a little bit of fear.
Tonight is the night.
I made the unconscionable decision days ago that I'm going to finally give in to Lucien.
Things have been strained between us ever since the other night when Lucien freaked out when I touched him, but I'm hoping that this outfit will change his mind.
I can't keep on living here in this life with my captor, who flies off the handle at any given moment. How long before he hurts me…or kills me?
He promised to let me go if I gave him what he wants. And my virginity is not worth an eternity in this monotonous hell. The solitude and utter lack of stimulation from the outside world have been driving me insane. I would rather just get this whole thing over with and deal with the consequences to my mental state later if it means getting to go home.
I've come to terms with the fact that Lucien's not going to rape me. In fact, he hasn't laid a single finger on me since I arrived…but I think that might have more to do with his strange affliction to being touched. He told me I had to come to him willingly, and I finally feel like I'm ready. I just hope I can convince him of that.
In less than twenty-four hours, I could be on my way to see Giovanni again. In my dreams, I picture him distraught from not being able to find me and welcoming me home with open arms.
But in my nightmares, I come home to a disgruntled father and a devastated fiancé. What if they blame me for what happened to me? What if Gio never truly forgives me?
No.
I refuse to think like that any longer.
The sooner you give me what I want, the sooner you can leave.
I stare at my reflection one last time and whisper to myself, "You can do this."
It's amazing what solitude can do to a person. I have spent the better part of the day reevaluating my life.
I always thought my father was protecting me from all the evils in the world and that I was one of the luckiest girls on the planet. I'm beginning to think the exact opposite now. And the more I dwell on it, the angrier I become. I'm starting to finally see my life differently and not through the rose-colored glasses I once wore.
My father was abusive. I've never put the way he punished me in such a harsh way before, but when I think back to the many times he beat me with a belt for the smallest transgression, yes, I think abuse is the perfect way to describe it now.
Sometimes I think he just needed to take his anger out on someone. My sisters once told me our father blamed me for our mother's death. I never believed it…or maybe I never wanted to believe it. But now I think it's true.
