"Good," he says sincerely. There's an expression on his face that I've never seen before and can't quite decipher.
While he goes to the huge walk-in tiled shower and turns on the water, I start to get undressed. I stumble a few times, cursing at the dizziness that seems to keep hitting me, but I manage to remove all my clothes.
Lucien steps out, and his dark eyes greedily scan my naked body, sending licks of fire all over my skin.
When his gaze reaches my neck, however, his entire demeanor changes. I can practically see the cogs inside of his mercurial brain turning and the anger coming off of him in waves.
"Lucien," I whisper, my voice shaking.
His eyes snap up to meet mine, and some of his anger begins to melt away. Without saying a word, he stalks over to me and helps me to the shower, holding the door open for me as I walk inside on my own.
I hold onto the tiled wall and make my way to the gentle mist that's raining down from the large showerhead above. Lucien must have put it on a low setting just for me, and I'm again amazed by his thoughtfulness.
Standing under the spray, I'm barely able to suppress the moan that comes from my lips. The water feels so good on my tender skin, and I just want to wash the memories of that horrible event away.
I hear the shower door open and turn my head, gasping when I see Lucien's naked form coming towards me. Silently, my eyes follow his every move as he removes a few items from the built-in shelves.
"W-what are you doing?" I ask him hesitantly.
"Helping you," he states matter-of-factly.
With methodical precision, he soaps up a white washcloth before pressing it against my bare shoulder. My eyes drift close as he very carefully begins to wash my back. I lean my forehead against the tile, relishing in the feeling of the washcloth, the clean scent of the soap and the steam from the shower surrounding us.
There are a million things on the tip of my tongue, but I just can't seem to get my mouth to cooperate. I want to tell Lucien thank you for saving me, thank you for taking care of me, thank you for…killing for me.
I shiver at the last thought, and Lucien is quick to ask, "Water not hot enough?"
I shake my head, unable to even speak in fear of telling him something I'll regret. I'm not quite sure where Lucien and I stand at this moment. Is he taking care of me so that I get better quicker and he can send me away?
He saw what Rafael was doing to me. Even though he didn't manage to do…everything…am I damaged goods to Lucien now?
I notice how he keeps the washcloth between my body and his hand, his skin never actually touching mine.
Maybe he sees me as dirty now.
Tainted.
When he moves me around to face him, I search his eyes for any signs of desire or heat that I'm used to seeing in them.
But there's nothing there. Even the heavy cock between his muscular legs remains flaccid.
He simply continues washing me in a way that a caretaker would wash a patient…mechanical and detached.
When Lucien's hand stops suddenly at my inner thighs, I glance down and gasp when I see the scratch marks left behind by Rafael's filthy hands. A tremor courses through me when I realize how close he was to raping me…maybe even killing me.
And now I'm seeing what Lucien is undoubtedly seeing when he looks at me — a used up, dirty thing and not the perfect and pure woman I once was.
The washcloth falls from Lucien's hand and slaps against the wet, tiled floor as he steps back suddenly. "Fuck," he growls, squeezing his eyes shut with his white teeth gritted and bared in fury.
"You don't have to do this, Lucien," I tell him quickly, tears blurring my vision.
"Yes, I do," he snaps angrily. "I want to take care of you, Adeline," he says, softer this time.
"Why?" I ask, unable to stop the question from blurting out of my mouth.
"Because I know what you're going through, and I…I never had anyone there to take care of me," he whispers without meeting my eyes.
My breath hitches at his confession. Lucien said so much in those two small sentences, and I can feel an ache growing inside my chest for him. I think about his horrible scars and what he must have gone through as a small child to receive each and every one of them.
