I glance around the mostly empty bar and close my eyes. I've already made my mind up about New York, but I haven't even told Tuck my decision yet. Is that because I secretly want to delay the inevitable? I have no idea. I feel like I'm split into two different people right now. There's a Penny that wants to stay, but there's another Penny that needs to go. And I can't stay without getting hurt again. Leaving will hurt me as well, but not as much in the long run. I have to take the lesser of two evils and decide what's best for myself.
I open my eyes and smile at Tucker. "I have until the end of summer to move back to New York?"
"Or sooner if you'd like," Tucker says with a big grin. "Whenever you're ready, Penny."
I nod my head in agreement. "End of summer it is then."
And in that moment I feel a sense of peace. I'm finally letting Colton go just like I should have all along. I'm creating a life without him in it. And as wrong as that feels, it also feels kind of right.
CHAPTER 21
COLTON
PENNY'S IGNORIN' ME. And it's not just the she-won't-look-at-me type of cold-shoulder ignorin'. She is outright, completely fuckin' avoidin' me at every opportunity. And I find that the more she ignores me, the angrier I get. I don't want things to be strained between us. I miss our banter, her anger and her sassy, smart mouth. I miss makin' her mad at me and her turnin' into a little firecracker explodin' like the Fourth of July.
To make matters worse, the past several mornings have been awful. I thought I would like havin' her gone. I thought I wouldn't miss anything about havin' her wakin' me up at five-thirty in the mornin' to try out a new recipe she concocted. But the truth is I do miss her…a lot. More than I ever would have thought. I miss bein' her taste tester, as silly as that sounds. I miss bein' there for all her firsts when she mixes up the wrong batter, but makes somethin' entirely new and incredibly delicious. I miss her bein' there every mornin' in my kitchen without fail. She made me feel like I'm not so alone in that big, old house. And now with Mack gone, it's a big fuckin' deal to me. And that's a feelin' that I know will be irreplaceable.
I'm spacing out by the time Buddy tries to get my attention for what could be the first or fifth time. "Dude!" he says exasperated.
I turn to him and raise a brow.
"Where were you just now?" he asks with a concerned look on his face.
I shrug my shoulders and continue fillin' the ice bin under the bar. I sense Penny before I even see her.
"Mind if I skip out early, Buddy?" she asks sweetly.
It's a Wednesday night, and the bar is dead. Some kind of party goin' on in town has caused us to have a slow night. Buddy says, "Sure."
I look up at Penny and realize she's not lookin' at me at all. I miss her stormy, gray eyes on me. "Where ya goin'?" I blurt out before I can stop myself.
Without even glancin' my way, Penny nervously bites her bottom lip before sayin', "I have a date."
Anger courses through me as I watch her walk away. My eyes settle on Tucker Hayward sittin' at the bar. He smiles as Penny walks towards him, and I feel helpless as I watch them leave together.
"Fuck," I mutter under my breath. Angrily, I scoop more ice into the bin and have to force myself not to throw the empty bucket when I'm done.
"You two still haven't kissed and made up?" Buddy asks.
I shake my head.
"Well, it's seriously killin' the vibe in the bar. You can cut the tension with a damn knife."
"I'll fix it," I tell him. I have to, because I don't know how much longer I can go without seein' and touchin' and kissin' her. She became my whole world in the matter of a few weeks, and I feel like the rug has been suddenly ripped away from under me.
"Make sure you do. Penny's only here for another couple of months, and I ---." He abruptly stops talking. "Shit," he mutters under his breath.
My eyes widen at his words. "What? What did you say?"
Buddy's mouth opens, but no words come out. He just said somethin' he wasn't supposed to. "Uh…Uh…" he stammers.
"What do you mean she's only here for a couple of months?"
Buddy runs a hand over his face. "I wasn't supposed to tell you." He sighs before sayin', "Penny's goin' back to New York at the end of the summer. She's gonna be Tucker's campaign manager. He's runnin' for state senator. Hell, he might even be president one day."
His words swirl around in my mind until I'm so furious I can't take it any longer. She's leavin'? Penny is leavin'. I thought I'd have more time. But more time to do what? I haven't exactly been swayin' her choice towards stayin'. I've been pushin' her away. It's what I do best --- push those closest to me away. And I've been doin' a damn fine job with Penny. In fact, I deserve a medal for the biggest asshole of the year.
The chime above the door rings and in walks Ruby Sue with a big smile on her face. Her eyes land on me instantly. "Hey, baby," she says with a sexy voice. "Did ya miss me?"
