My world stops spinnin', and I slowly back away from her. "I didn't drink that much. I would have remembered…" I push my fingertips to my temples, beggin' my mind to remember last night. Ruby Sue slept in my bed? I don't remember that. If I don't remember her gettin' in bed with me, what else do I not remember? Oh, fuck. Why else would she be naked and be standin' in my kitchen with my shirt on if we didn't ---. I shake my head. No. I don't believe it. "I don't even remember last night," I confess out loud.
"Well, I can tell you that you certainly didn't have a problem getting it up for me this time," she says with a wicked grin.
My blood boils at her words. "I can't deal with this shit right now. I want you out by the time I come back." Then I turn on my heel and practically crash through the front door. I can hear Ruby Sue callin' after me, and it makes me even more pissed off. My legs carry me straight to the shed. I need to take my anger out on somethin'…and fast before I explode.
I don't bother tapin' my hands as I start layin' into the bag. My hands instantly hurt, but I deserve it. I deserve all of the pain. If Penny finds out what I did, she'll never forgive me. I fucked everything up just as it was beginnin' to get good between us…just as we were startin' to find our way with each other.
A small part of me doesn't want to tell her, act like nothin' happened. But how could I ever look Penny in the face again and not think about what I did? Could I really pull it off? Could I lie to her? Isn't omission of the truth the same as lyin'?
I pound into the bag over and over again until my muscles are quiverin' with exhaustion. I stumble back to the weight bench and collapse onto it. What have I done? What have I fuckin' done?
I hang my head in shame. Even if I don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen. I know that better than anyone.
I don't know if I should trust Ruby Sue, but all the evidence and her words are all there. How did she get my shirt if she wasn't in my room? And if she was in my room, maybe we did sleep together. And we probably did more than sleepin' if she climbed into bed with me. The last thing I remember thinkin' about is Penny. What if…what if I thought I was sleepin' with Penny? Could I have lost myself in that fantasy?
I scrub my battered hands down my face. If Penny finds out, I'll lose her.
I'll lose her forever.
* * * * *
PENNY
THE NEXT MORNING I wake up feeling sick and exhausted. Last night's events come rushing back to me, and I realize that Ruby Sue and Colton probably slept together…the same night after we had the most amazing sex ever. I thought Colt and I were making progress. I thought things were going to change between us. But just as I think we're taking three steps forward; we take five steps back. Right now to me Colton is still the same guy that I came home to --- the Colton that I don't even know.
I climb out of bed and go to the kitchen window. When I see that Ruby Sue's Mustang is still in the driveway, I tear my gaze away and attempt to suppress my emotions. Instead of allowing myself to get upset, I go to the bathroom and get ready for the day. It's Sunday, and I'm not scheduled to work, thank goodness. I don't think I could take a day side by side with Colt right now.
I take my time doing my hair and applying makeup. Sometimes a girl needs to feel pretty on the outside when she's a complete wreck on the inside.
Just as I'm finished and walking back into my bedroom, I get a phone call from my dad. Even though I haven't spoken to my parents much after I moved out, it's good to hear my dad's voice.
"How are you doing, sweetheart?" my dad asks.
I bite my lower lip and stall. How am I doing? Well, it feels like my entire world is crumbling around me…for, like, the fourth or fifth time since I came back to Willowbrook. Instead of relaying that information, I tell him, "I'm fine, Daddy."
"Your mama and I were wondering if you'd like to come to Sunday dinner?"
Sunday dinner is a tradition in my family. My mama always makes a huge dinner every Sunday; one so huge it could probably feed an army even though it's usually just her, dad and me. And right now comfort food sounds like just what I need.
"Sure," I reply.
I can almost hear his excitement through the phone. "Great. Noon okay?"
"Yep."
"See you then, sweetheart."
I hang up the phone and go to my closet to pick out a dress. Another stipulation to Sunday dinner is that you dress nice, although I don't think I've ever seen my mother not wearing a dress and her pearls no matter where we are. After scouring my small closet for a bit, I find a pretty, light blue sundress and slip it on over my head. I pull out a matching pair of light blue flats and put them on as well.
I leave the apartment a little early and am surprised when I see Tucker's Escalade sitting in the parking lot. He climbs out and walks towards me with a big grin on his face. "Hey, Penny. I hope I'm not too early." His eyes peruse my form quickly. "But you look like you're ready to go."
"Go where?" I ask him, completely confused. I haven't seen much of Tucker lately since he's been flying back and forth between New York and Alabama getting ready for his campaign. He has no idea Colton and I are together…orweretogether, depending on how my conversation with Colton later goes.
"To Sunday dinner at your parents' house." When he sees my confusion, his smile starts to fade. "They didn't tell you I was picking you up?"
I shake my head. My parents are really trying to make this relationship between Tucker and me work. But at this moment, I'm not mad about it. I could use the distraction. "Must have been trying to surprise me," I say quickly. "Thank you for coming to get me."
"You're welcome," he says, the smile once again reappearing on his handsome face. "Ready to go?"
