"Are you okay, Colt? You've been washing that glass for, like, twenty minutes now. I think it's the cleanest mug in the bar," she says, flashin' me a warm smile.
After the way I've treated her, I can't believe she's even talkin' to me. Despite everything, she's bein' nice to me. But that's just how Penny is. She's sweet and kind and forgivin'. All I know is I don't deserve her kindness.
The pain I'm causin' her eats at me like cancer, and I can't get her out of my head. She consumes my every thought, and still I can't remember her. I stare at Penny for a few seconds, my eyes searchin' her face for answers. If we knew each other for so long and cared about each other so much, then why can't I remember her? Hell, I can't remember much of anything, but I sure do wish I could remember her. Those full pink lips curlin' up into a smile do somethin' to my insides, and it feels like butterflies are eruptin' in my stomach. I want her on top of me again…or under me…or any which way. I want to push her up against the wall and take her, make her mine.
Distracted by my thoughts, I drop the glass in my hands, and it shatters into the sink. "Shit," I mutter, draggin' my attention away from her.
"Well, itwasthe cleanest mug in the bar," she quips. "Let me get that, Colton. You're going to cut ---." Our hands both reach for the glass, and she gets her finger stuck on a sharp edge. "Ouch!" She snatches her hand back and holds it with the other.
"Let me see," I say, immediately reachin' for her.
She steps back from me and shakes her head. "You hate the sight of blood."
"Since when?" I ask, confused. Blood's never bothered me before.
"Since always. Since we were little kids." Penny stares at me for a second, her brows furrowin'. "I have to stop doing that," she whispers I think more to herself than to me. I know exactly what she meant by that, though. She's meanin' that I'm not the same person. A part of me wishes I could be who I was…for her. But I can't.
I watch as she disappears into the back room. Followin' close behind, I tell her, "It was my fault, Penny. Let me help you."
"I don't need your help, Colton. Just leave me alone. Please."
I can hear the waver in her voice, and it makes me even angrier that she's playin' this game of bein' the strong, hard woman who doesn't need a man --- doesn't needme. I grab the first aid kit from the wall before she can reach it and open the kit on the desk in my office. Penny stands at the door, but eventually comes in and takes a seat.
"Let me see," I say again.
She hesitantly opens her hand, and there's a lot of blood. "Do you need stitches?"
"I don't know. I don't think so."
I carefully take her hand into mine and rub some cleanin' wipes over her skin. The blood disappears, and I can see a gash in her pointer finger. Rummagin' through the kit, I get the necessary things out that I'll need and get to work. "I'm sorry. It was my fault you got cut."
She stares down at my motions, but doesn't say a word.
"Sometimes I just get distracted, and I…I lose track of time. Minutes can feel like seconds or hours. It all depends on what my brain decides to do at that moment." I finish bandagin' her finger and say, "There. Good as new."
I stare at her for a long time while my fingers lightly brush against her palm. My eyes can't help but linger over her beautiful face. I can see how I would have fallen for her back then. Hell, I think I've been fallin' for her ever since she came back into town.
"I have to go, Colt. Shift's over," she murmurs before gently pullin' away.
I watch her walk out of the room, and I get up to follow her. I'm in the doorway when I see her settlin' onto a stool right beside Tucker at the bar. What am I expectin' her to do? Come runnin' back to me? Not after what I did. We had sex, and I stomped all over her fuckin' heart. Maybe Buddy is right. Penny won't wait forever. And at this point I can't even imagine her not bein' in my life. As much as I push her away, I want to draw her even closer to me that much more.
I scrub a hand down my face and sigh.
I'm totally fucked.
* * * * *
I'M KILLIN' TIME until Penny and Tucker leave when Buddy steps into my office. I can't bear to see them together one second longer, so it's best if I just hide out in my office until they're gone.
"Penny's drunk," Buddy announces.
I glance up at him from the newspaper that I'm just pretendin' to read. "So?"
"So somebody needs to look after her, Colt. I really don't want to be responsible for someone dyin' of alcohol poisonin' or chokin' on their own vomit in the middle of the night."
"You served her. You take care of her," I say indifferently and turn my full attention back to the paper.
"I'm not takin' care of her. I've got work to do, and I have a date tonight with Shelby Rae." He stands there silently for a few minutes. When I don't acknowledge him, he says, "Okay. Fine. I'll just tell Tucker to take her home. I'm pretty sure that's what he's plannin' on doin' anyway." He turns to walk away.
