Alone, I hold onto the sink for support. I feel like my whole world is coming down around me. Last night apparently meant nothing to Colton. Nothing. All my hope for finding him again has been dashed away in a single moment. I thought last night would change everything. In the very least, I thought he would break things off with Ruby Sue for good.
Steeling myself, I stand up straight and march over to the stove. I continue making the orders, thankful for the diversion. Everything will sort itself out in the end. I truly do believe that. I have to believe that, or else I might just drive myself crazy. I refuse to even acknowledge the logic behind Colton bringing Ruby Sue here tonight after the night we shared. I keep reminding myself that he's a different person now, but I'm still clinging to theoldColton,myColton, the boy I fell in love with. Although my Colton would never have hurt me the way he is right now. And I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get him back.
* * * * *
THE NEXT NIGHT I go on another date with Tucker. He always takes me to a fancy restaurant, wining and dining me, and then brings me back to my apartment for a goodnight kiss that always turns heated, but never goes anywhere. And that's where we're at right now --- first base, rounding second. I know he wants more, but he never pushes me.
Breaking off the kiss, he pulls back and places his forehead against mine as he pants. "Penny…is it me?"
"No," I whisper, feeling like a complete bitch. We have been on a lot of dates. Many girls would have put out on the first or second or even third date. I feel terrible for not going any further with Tucker. We haven't even made it past kissing and some PG-rated on-top-of-the-clothes stuff.
"Is it Colton?" he asks with irritation lacing his tone.
"Yes," I answer him honestly. I stare into his blue eyes and say, "I'm sorry, Tuck. I'm not being fair to you."
"It's okay. I get it." When I look at him skeptically, he puts his hands up in defense and says, "I do."
"I'll understand if you want to date other girls," I tell him.
Gently, he cups my face in his hands and says, "Penny, I would wait a thousand years until you're ready. I've already waited almost my entire life. What's another twenty, give or take?"
I grin at his words. He always knows how to make me feel better. Grabbing the lapels of his jacket, I pull him closer to me. "What did I do to deserve a great guy like you?" I ask in a hushed whisper.
His lips softly kiss my neck. "Must have been something great." His lips trail kisses along my jaw line until he reaches my lips. He kisses me passionately, possessively, but it's just not the kiss I want. He's not the one I want. And that's why I'll never be able to move on.He's not Colton. And in all reality and sensibility, I shouldn't even want Colton. I just wish I could tell my heart to listen to my brain once in a while.
I gently press against Tucker's chest, and he immediately pulls back. "I had a great time, Penny," he says before taking a step towards the stairs. "Same time next week?" he asks with a smile.
"Of course." I watch him walk down the steps, and I feel compelled to stop him. "Tuck?"
He turns back to look up at me. "Yeah?"
"I'm going to try to get over Colton. I promise." I hesitate before admitting, "It just might take me a little while."
He flashes me a panty-melting smile before saying, "A thousand years, Penny. I've got time." He winks before turning around and walking to his SUV.
My hand fans my face that suddenly feels very hot. I'm definitely developing some deep feelings for Tucker, and I have no doubt that someday soon we're going to make it past the heavy petting part of our relationship. I'm a grown woman after all, not a horny teenager on prom night. I need to face facts and get my shit together.
However, that's easier said than done.
CHAPTER 14
COLTON
IT'S BEEN FORTY-EIGHT hours since I slept with Penny, and every time I close my eyes I swear I can still smell her sweet skin and feel her soft curves in my hands. After my attempt at tryin' to rid her of my senses with a night with Ruby Sue, I realize it's not gonna be that damn easy. Once again I couldn't get it up for Ruby, and I'm pretty sure she seriously thinks I have some kind of erectile dysfunction. She even mentioned about goin' to the doctor aboutmy condition. I didn't say anything in response to that. It's not like I can tell her that Penny is the only one I can seem to get hard over anymore.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. I've never had this much trouble tryin' to push someone away before. Usually people just get fed up with my shit and hit the road. But not Penny. I don't know how much farther I can push her until she reaches the point of no return. However, I'm afraid to reach that point. My mind is split into half wantin' her out of my life and the other half never wantin' to let her go.
I'm so damn confused.
Penny's just finishin' up with her shift and is at the opposite end of the bar from me talkin' with none other than Tucker Hayward. I always hated that guy, although I never had a real good reason to before. As I watch him lean over the bar and lean in to whisper sweet nothings into her ear, I feel as if I have every reason in the fuckin' world to hate him now.
"Tucker Hayward has been carryin' a torch for Penny since we were little kids," Buddy remarks. "He was always waitin' for you two to break it off so he might have a shot."
I look up from my glass of beer and look at my friend. "Why are you tellin' me this, man?"
Buddy shrugs his shoulders. "Just thought you'd like to know." He leans closer and stares me dead in the eye. "A girl like Penny won't wait forever for you to pull your head out of your ass. She'll find the next best thing." He motions towards the end of the bar. "And Tucker Hayward is the next best thing."
For reasons unknown, my blood is boilin'. I finish off the rest of my beer and then busy myself by puttin' my dirty glass in the sink and washin' it. I scrub that glass for what seems like hours before a hand reaches out and halts my movements. I look up into Penny's stormy eyes, and I almost crumple at the sight. She's so damn pretty that it hurts to look at her.
