Why didnae he tell me who he was when he remembered? Why keep such a thing from me?
Freya couldn’t understand it. If he had known he was the heir of Clan MacGregor from the moment he remembered his name, then why had he kept it hidden from her? What was it that he feared? Or did he simply wish to keep secrets from her?
What else was he keeping?
“I promise ye, I willnae wed that lass,” James continued, but Freya was only half-listening. Even with his hands steadying her, she was dizzy, weak. She felt like she needed to sit and collect her thoughts, but James was relentless as he held her there, still talking. “Why would I bring ye here if that was what I wanted? Why bring ye with me? It’s ye I want, Freya. I promise ye. I brought ye here tae make ye me wife.”
I suppose he could have discarded me whenever he wished.
Even so, how could she believe him when he had lied to her for so long?
“Why didnae ye tell me who ye are?” she demanded. “Why lie?”
“I didnae lie,” James said defensively. “I… just didnae tell ye the whole truth.”
“That’s the same thing!” Freya pointed out, throwing her hands up in exasperation and pushing James off her at the same time. She didn’t want him touching her; she didn’t want him anywhere near her, not when the sting of his betrayal was still so painful. “Ye had chance after chance tae tell me who ye are, but ye chose tae hide it from me. Why? Why dae this?”
For a long time, James was silent, his gaze dropping to the ground beneath his feet. When he looked back up at Freya, his features were twisted with pain. “I dinnae ken,” he admitted. “I thought… I was afraid tae lose ye, I wanted tae tell ye once ye were here.”
It wasn’t a good enough answer for Freya. With her hands on her hips, she took a few steps away from him, putting even more distance between them. The mere sight of him only served to worsen the ache in her chest, the sense of betrayal tightening around her like a vise.
“I didnae ken about the Campbells,” James said. “I didnae. I didnae ken anything about this afore we came here.”
“Ye didnae ken ye were betrothed?”
“Nay,” James said without hesitation. Freya didn’t want to believe him, fearful that he was once again lying to her, but he seemed so earnest, so truthful that she couldn’t help it. “I kent me parents and the council were looking fer a wife fer me. But I never kent they would find someone so soon or bring her here without consulting with me first. It was never meant to happen this way. I was meant to have Saint Cuthbert’s blessing and then find a wife, like every other man in our family.”
James had said as much already to his parents, so Freya could at least believe that. But if that was his family’s tradition, why had his parents rushed into it? Why bring a woman James had never even met before consulting him?
“I dinnae understand,” she said, her voice quiet and meeker than she had heard herself in years. She wasn’t this kind of woman; she wasn’t meek and she certainly had never let anyone else treat her like that.
What a fool love has made of me.
“Please… anything ye want, I’ll dae it,” James said as he approached her once more, though with some hesitation—as though he were approaching a spooked animal. “Anything ye want of me, Freya. Just believe me when I tell ye I would never hurt ye.”
Freya regarded him with some apprehension still, but she didn’t pull back this time when he took her hands in his, bringing them to his lips to press a kiss to her knuckles. He looked even more desperate than she felt, his eyes wide and pleading, his fingers twisting tightly around hers. And still, she couldn’t find it in her to trust him—at least not entirely.
“I dinnae ken what I want,” Freya admitted, though she was being a little untruthful, too. She knew that she wanted him and that she wanted the woman and her uncle gone, but she couldn’t ask for that. The only reason she was even allowed in this castle was because of James, and without him, his parents would not hesitate to throw her right out—especially his mother, who had taken one look at her and had surmised she was a servant. Evelyn was a guest, too, but she was a noble-born woman. She was one of them, while Freya was an outsider.
“Then I’ll tell ye what I want,” said James. “I want tae marry ye. I want tae be yer husband and spend the rest of me life with ye, even if it means making an enemy out of me parents. Naething has changed fer me, Freya… I still love ye more than anything in this world.”
Freya looked at him with her eyes wide, the confession shaking her to her core. He had spoken such words to her before, ofcourse, but now that she knew the truth about him and his origins, his promise seemed to have more weight than ever. He was willing to risk it all for them. He was willing to throw everything else away just to be with her.
But how could she ask that of him? How could she ask him to abandon his family and his clan if it came to it, just so they could be together?
“Come,” he told her, taking a few steps back towards the main entrance. “Let us head inside. It’s cold out here, ye’ll catch yer death.”
The last thing Freya wanted was to go back into that keep, but now that her panic and her rage had both begun to subside, the chill seeped into her bones. Reluctantly, she followed James back inside, dreading the moment she would have to face his entire family once again.
But when they stepped inside, everyone but his brother and sister had left, and Freya couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. She didn’t know what his siblings thought about all this, but it surely couldn’t be worse than his mother’s thoughts on the matter.
If anything, they just seemed happy to know he was back safe.
“Where did they go?” James asked before they had even reached his siblings. “I’m nae done with them.”
“Maither and Faither went upstairs and Evelyn and her uncle went outside, tae the gardens,” his sister said. She, too, was a beautiful woman. With her brilliant green eyes and black hair, she resembled their mother more than the two brothers, but Freya was still stunned to see just how much they all resembled the woman. “But perhaps this isnae the best time tae speak tae any of them.”
“I disagree,” said James. “I think now is the perfect time. I have a lot tae tell, about what happened while I was gone.”
