He glanced down at his hands, focusing on the bread and picking it into bite sized pieces. It was more a distraction than anything else. “Naethin’ ye miss?”
Freya sighed and shook her head once more. “Nay. If I’m being perfectly honest, I think that I was starting to outgrow that place. There were nay challenges until ye came along. I dinnae think I fully realized just how complacent I had become over time until I was healing ye.”
Nathan knew he ought not to ask the next burning question on his mind, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself. “And that man?”
“Who, Tristan?” Freya snorted. “He would love nothin’ more than fer me tae feel homesick, but I simply cannae bring meself tae care about him in the way he wishes I would.”
“There was never anything between ye?”
Not that it was any of his business. Not really. He didn’t have any idea if he was a man who had such obligations at home either. But, he would know wouldn’t he? He would know if there was a girl waiting for him. There was no gnawing feeling of loss anywhere within him. He knew he had no idea who he was, or the life that he had come from but this still felt so right. Maybe,just maybe, if this was the life he was destined to lead, that would be all right.
“Nay. Nay from lack of trying. I think Tristan felt he was entitled tae me. He always treated things between us like an inevitability. Like it was something that was just going to happen nay matter what.” Freya sighed, pulling her legs up toward her chest and wrapping her arms around them. “He wanted me tae marry him but put in nay effort tae build any love between us. He pursued me fer a few years, but I always turned him down.”
“Seems like he hasnae given up, honestly.” Nathan sighed.
“He needs tae learn tae take nay fer an answer.” Freya huffed. “If he thinks that constantly pushing forward is going tae change me mind, he daesnae ken me at all.”
How any man could look at her, and not admire her for her strong mind was beyond him. Tristan wanted to control her, that much was obvious. He knew he was likely a good part of the reason that they had had to leave so quickly in the first place. But he would have to thank him if that was true. It had given him the chance to spend more time with Freya.
“I ken ye likely dinnae have any idea, but what dae ye think ye’re going tae find in the mainland? Maybe we will be able tae find a family waiting fer ye, or a home tae go back tae?”
Nathan shrugged. Of course, it was possible. “I wouldnae even ken where tae start.”
“Well, maybe at some point in the journey, yer memory will spark?” Freya asked, but there was something about her tone that he couldn’t quite place. Was she feeling nervous, or apprehensive about it all? He couldn’t blame her. There was still a part of him that was dreading finding out who he was.
“Maybe. It’s difficult nae kenning what sort of person I was… or am, I suppose,” Nathan said.
Freya shrugged one shoulder, shifting to lay out on the blanket that they were having their little makeshift picnic upon. “I think it would be rather hard tae believe ye could change everything about who ye are so easily. A little bump on the head fer most people wouldnae make them into new people. Although, I did ken a child whose eyes did go crossed for a little while.”
He couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image of it as he joined her in laying on the blanket, the pair of them staring up at the ceiling. What was the matter with him? He was almost nervous to board that ship, and it was only because that might mean their time together was coming to a close. If only he hadn’t been unconscious for so long.
“I havenae been back to the mainland since I was a wee lass. I dinnae remember me life there afore me faither passed.” Freya sighed. “Even this town and the convent feel so much smaller than I remember them being. I dinnae like tae think that I’ve changed that much over the years but it feels as if I must have.”
Nathan snorted. “Me neither.”
Freya reached over to where he was lying and smacked him on the arm just hard enough to make her point, letting it sting a little bit. He laughed and curled away from her.
“What good was all that time spent healing me if ye are just gonnae hit me and injure me all over again?” Nathan teased.
“Says the man who got into a fight at breakfast, injuring his own hand.” Freya retorted.
She had a point, even if it pained him to admit it.
Silence fell comfortably between the pair of them, the crackling of the fireplace leaving a peaceful lull in the room, the shadows dancing over the ceiling. Freya scooted closer to him, pulling her blanket further around herself. Her eyes kept drifting shut, no matter how hard she tried to keep them open. Nathan couldn’t seem to bring himself to tear his eyes away from her, he wanted to memorize each and every detail of her face.
Hers was a special type of beauty. He might like her freckles the best, more so now that they had spent the day outside. They were darker than they had been before. He also now knew those same freckles spanned over her neck and shoulders.
In his mind, he started mentally mapping out the routes between the freckles on her neck, following them up over her jawline as if he could somehow grant himself the courage to trace them with his fingers as she fell asleep.
Sleep wouldn’t come to him.
He watched her breathing, admiring how peaceful she looked. He hoped the journey would allow her to cross the sea peacefully.
Nathan was coming to find out very quickly he didn’t much care for people being so close to him. The large crowds weren’t something that made him feel very at ease. Perhaps it was just his protective nature resurfacing but it truly felt like in such confined spaces, surrounded by so many people, it was just that much more difficult for him to protect Freya.
She likely didn’t need his protection, but that didn’t stop the nearly overwhelming impulse to keep her as close to his side as he possibly could.
It almost seemed like Freya was going to grab his arm when they arrived in the marketplace. She didn’t end up doing it, but he wished she had. Instead, he walked just two paces behind her, keeping his eye on all the merchants and other people they passed along the way.
