“Oh, in the name of the wee man.” She broke the connection of her gaze with the man and turned to face Kai. Determined to get it right, she went back to picturing being in Kai’s arms. She felt her face shift at once. Everything changed in her demeanor. She didn’t even blink as she gazed up at him, wishing he really would hold her.
Why dae I want him tae?
She reasoned that Kai always made her feel safe, that he was the only man she had ever had that feeling with after what she’d been through. Of all the men she had ever met, he was the only one she would trust putting his arms around her.
“Well…” He abruptly cleared his throat and looked away. “Ye can manage it with me at least, but nae with others.”
“It’s nae easy, ye ken.”
“Oh, it is.”
“Ye dae it then.” She felt sharp, tired of his lessons already.
“Very well, I’ll show ye how it’s done.” He stood from the table without another word. Ava was all too aware of the way his arm had disappeared from the back of the bench as he walked away.
She felt rather cold and pulled the cloak up over her shoulders, looking longingly at the fire in the corner of the room that hadburned down to its embers. She looked away when she heard the easy laugh of a woman.
At the serving hatch, Kai was leaning against the wall. That air of charm and confidence was back, as if he had donned it as easily as he did a hat. He was smiling rather boldly at a young barmaid with long dark hair and eyes that were misty gray. She was truly beautiful, with strong cheekbones and a slight figure. She was very different compared to Ava’s athletic build.
Ava slumped in her seat as she watched. She tried to focus on how Kai smiled at the lass, the way he clearly made the barmaid feel special by devoting all of his attention to her.
Yet her mind kept slipping away. Far from studying Kai’s behavior, she stared at the woman instead. The barmaid’s responsiveness to him, the way she touched Kai’s arm, made Ava’s gut writhe.
Ava pushed her whisky away, not wanting anymore to drink as she stared at the pair in wonder. Kai seemed utterly intoxicated by the woman’s presence. He even leaned toward her, whispering something playfully in her ear. The barmaid giggled, all bashful, pinkening, and then gazing up at Kai with eyes that were sparkling in excitement.
An ugly feeling shot through Ava. All at once, she longed for Kai to be back there with her. She wished that barmaid didn’t exist, or that Kai hadn’t noticed her at all.
She refused to acknowledge it, but the more she tried to push it away, the stronger it came through, until she found it impossible to sit still on the bench at all. She kept writhing and fidgeting, adjusting her gown and her cloak. She was dressed very differently to the barmaid. Where Ava was dressed for battle, her tartan gown pulled tight, a little high on her neckline too, the barmaid’s gown was open in places. The laces of her kirtle were obvious, a slit in the skirt revealing a flash of pale calf, and the neckline so low that her bosom was practically being served up on the trencher she carried with her.
Why would a man like Kai ever notice me when there is a woman as beautiful tae capture his attention?
The sudden thought made Ava realize exactly what emotion she was tussling with.
Och, I’m jealous!
Knowing the way Kai could read her emotions so easily, she panicked when she saw him walking back toward her, only sparing a few seconds to drop another whisper in the barmaid’s ear before he left.
Trying her best to mask what she was feeling, Ava downed her whisky. She figured her best bet was to show anger and frustration. They were emotions he would be very familiar with reading on her by now.
“What made ye so angry?” Kai asked as he sat down beside her. “Did ye nae like what ye saw? I demonstrated what ye wanted tae see.”
“I ken ye did.” She was clipped in her response. She whirled around to face him, determined not to offer him a glimpse of her jealousy. “I cannae believe ye can seduce as easily as ye can breathe and I struggle tae hold a man’s gaze. It’s insufferable.”
He chuckled softly and just shrugged, as if it was an innate part of his being.
Dinnae be jealous.She shouted the thought in her head. She knew Kai was a rake, everyone knew. It was hardly a secret that he had bedded many women.Should I nae be glad that I am the woman he wouldnae bed? That I’m the woman he wishes tae be friends with instead?
Yet she couldn’t be glad. A morose feeling took up residence in her gut, one that made her wonder what was so wrong with her that Kai had never even considered her bed. Not that she wanted to sleep with him, of course, that would be madness. But still, she was a woman, right?
“That’s nae all, is it?” Kai abruptly leaned toward her. Matching his movements, Ava leaned away, trying to move along the bench. “Ava, what is it ye are nae telling me?”
“Nothing.” She sidled away, coming increasingly closer to a corner where she would be trapped between Kai and the wall. He followed her.
“Kai, I’ll be trapped against the wall.”
“Good, then ye cannae escape.”
She elbowed him again, but he continued, halting mere inches away from her.
