“At first, the love was one-sided. But then he came around. I ken that he would die fer Tasgall and me. But sometimes I feel that he doesnae understand me. That he would have understood Mildred better.”
Jane saw a vulnerability in the older woman that she had not seen before. She took her hand. “Catrina, Mildred is gone. Ye are in charge now.”
Catrina looked at Jane blankly for several seconds. And then she burst into laughter. This startled Jane. “I suppose ye are right,” she said. “Iamin charge. I must make him understand, even if he doesnae agree, what things are important tae me. Thank ye, Jane. Yer words are few, but they carry meaning.”
“You are welcome, Catrina,” Jane said.
“Let me return ye tae yer room,” Catrina said. Jane wanted to say that she could find her way herself, but she wasn’t quite sure that that was true. They began to climb the stairs.
“Catrina?”
“Yes?”
“Why did ye tell me all this?”
Catrina thought for a moment. And then she said, “Perhaps because ye will leave soon.”
“Oh.” Jane said. She should not feel bad, and yet, she did. It was inexplicable. “Do you have any idea how soon?”
“Who kens? But the laird willnae keep ye here indefinitely. He is a just man and does not believing in inflicting suffering on one in lieu of another. As soon as whatever your capture was meant to achieve is achieved, he will let you return tae yer commander.”
Jane looked at her sharply. But of course, she knew! She must have been the subject of her pillow talk last night.
“I can stake all that I own on it,” Catrina finished.
“That… gives me comfort,” Jane said, and Catrina smiled kindly. They were at the door to Jane’s room now. Catrina retrieved a bunch of keys from the pocket of her gown. She went through some before she finally decided on one and slid it into the lock. The door opened. She moved away so Jane could go in. Jane picked up her skirts and went in. “Thank you,” she said to Catrina.
“Ye are welcome, Jane,” Catrina said, and smiled. Jane turned her back to the door, and Catrina stepped outside. The sound of the door locking was faint indeed. Jane smiled wryly. Catrina was doing her best to hide the fact that she was locking her in. Yesterday, it was quite loud. That was a kindness, Jane supposed, in an odd kind of way.
But then the key turned in the lock again, loudly, this time. Jane turned. Catrina opened the door. “I just remembered that you wanted a bath. Come. I will get Fionnula tae-”
“No, not anymore. I am quite all right, thank you,” Jane said. Please come and get me when it is time.”
Catrina nodded. “Very well.” She paused. “I know we are done talking about it, but I just remembered that I may not have to play matriarch for much longer, after all.”
“Oh?” Jane said. “How is that?”
“This morning, Keith spoke about the laird being entranced by a lady. He would not tell me who it was, but that is his nature. He is always jesting about serious things. This one, he swore tae me.” Catrina smiled. “May it lead tae marriage quickly. First, fer me laird’s sake, fer he deserves happiness. And second, fer mine. I cannae wait tae have this burden lifted off me shoulders!”
Jane would never know why her heart began to thud erratically, or why she felt like the air had just left her lungs. She plastered a smile on her face and said, “Why, that is excellent.” It was anything but. The thought of a woman beside Alistair, bearing his name and sharing his heart, made her sad for some inexplicable reason.
“That it is!” Catrina said with a giggle. She embraced Jane. It was nothing serious, just a gesture shared between people with information binding them. She stepped away. “Ye are so easy tae talk tae.” And with that she left.
* * *
The feast took place in the great hall. There were significantly more people that evening than the day before. Jane could even spot Mairin from the hearings. She was seated at one of the low tables, taking a big swig from a cup. Apparently, here, heavy drinking did not portray a lack of decorum.
The servants had set up trenchers at Alistair’s table, and its occupants were guzzling down cups and cups of wine. Not Alistair. He took small sips and seemed to survey the environment while absently responding to the conversation around him.
A set of musicians had set up their instruments in a corner in preparation for what Jane assumed must be dancing later. They wore short matching red kilts, and Jane was a little worried that if their playing was boisterous, they would leave little to the imagination.
The oldest man in the clan was seated next to Alistair. His face was the very picture of excitement. He downed cup after cup of wine with gusto. Jane stared at her own. She had never been able to drink much wine, as even the littlest bit made her lightheaded. She sipped at it in between bites of the most delicious lamb she had ever eaten. She raised her head to find Alistair watching her and dropped it immediately. She did not risk looking in his direction for the longest time. Finally, it was the end of the feast and time for dancing. Alistair stood up, and the whole room followed. Some cups clattered to the floor. It seemed some people were already unsteady on their feet.
And then silence descended over the room.
“We are gathered here today tae celebrate our eldest clan member Gilbert,” Alistair said.
A cheer rose up. “Gilbert, if you would do the honors.”
