“And are ye sure it was an accident, uncle?” Aidam snapped. “It seems betrayal is a family trait these days.”
“Och, watch yer tongue, lad. Me brother was a good lad. It was an accident. I never wanted to be laird. Be careful what ye say.”
Aidam shook his head, and Ellie put a steadying hand on his arm. It was clear to her his anger at being locked up by his uncle still ran deep, but they would get nowhere with bickering and accusations.
“So ye never loved me Da?” Ellie asked, urging her mother to continue.
“Yer Da and I were not in love, no, but when I found out we were to be wed, I ended things with Lachlan, right then and there. It was the most difficult thing I ever had to do, but I had no choice.” Tears began to roll down her mother’s cheeks, and for the first time in a long time, Ellie felt a kinship with her mother. “’ Twas a moment of weakness that led me back into Lachlan’s arms fourteen years ago. It was one night, and I swore I would never let it happen again.”
“Ye lied!” Sinclair said. “Ye said ye loved me. I would have taken ye away from here, Sara. I still loved ye. I would have done anything ye asked. But ye lied. Ye never loved me!”
“I could nay leave my child, Lachlan.”
“And then ye went on to have another! Ye never loved me. If ye did, ye would never have had the boy.”
“Don’t ye get it!?” Lady MacAskill shouted. “It is because I love ye that the boy exists!”
A shock of silence pushed through the room. Ellie gripped Aidam’s hand as tight as she could. It was her worry spoken out loud. The real reason her mother acted the way she had. Now in the full light of morning, Ellie looked at Laird Sinclair, really looked at him. She thought of her brother, his grey eyes. Sinclair’s grey eyes.
“Ye’re his Da,” she whispered.
“What do ye mean, lass?” Sinclair asked, whipping his head around to face her.
“Ye’re Evander’s Da,” Ellie repeated, finding her voice. “That’s why ye stayed, mam. Ye were with child, and ye didnae want Van to be born a bastard. Oh my God, did me Da ken? Did he ken Van was nay his blood?”
Lady MacAskill shifted in her seat, her eyes downcast.
“Yer father kent about Lachlan and me from the beginning, lass. He ken that I fell with child. He was angry at first, but he also understood and, in time, came to forgive me. Ye see, lass, it wasn’t my affair that caused him to do what he did. Yer Da was no stranger to the feelings that come with the lack of choice in our world.
“The night before he died, yer father confessed to me that he had been having an affair of his own. The woman, well, he loved her. He wanted to be with her, but she died. I’m afraid yer Da died of his own broken heart, and mayhap I should have told ye, but I didnae want ye to think poorly of yer Da or me. It was selfish of both of us. He may have never loved me, but he loved you. He even loved Evander in his way. He was good to you both.”
Suddenly Ellie needed to sit down herself. She made her way to a nearby chair, Aidam following her closely and standing behind her. Ever present and showing his strength when she needed him most. Ellie thought of what she felt for Aidam, how desperately she tried to avoid those feelings, and the guilt she felt when she gave in and acted upon them. She would have had to marry his uncle, and she would have had to end things with Aidam. She would die a thousand tiny deaths every day for wanting Aidam were he taken from her, and now she knew she and her mother were not so different.
“Mam,” she said. “I feel remorse for blaming Da’s death on ye. I ken what it is like to love and to feel guilt for that love. I’m still angry, and I dae nae think it’ll be easy, but I do understand more than I did before.”
“That’s all I can ask, daughter. Ye have to ken I love ye, and if I felt I had a choice, I would never hae done to ye what was done to me.” Ellie saw honesty in her mother’s eyes. It still hurt to think her own mother could buy and sell her as if she were chattel, but it was her mother’s reason that Ellie was beginning to understand.
“That explains yer role in all this, my lady, but not yours, uncle,” Aidam said. “Why are ye still harboring such anger?”
* * *
Aidam knew it might have been a lot to ask of his uncle, especially as he was just finding out about his son, but he had to keep digging. They needed answers and assurances.
“I wish I could tell ye, lad,” Sinclair said, all anger leaving his voice. Aidam could not help but think the uncle he had always admired and looked up to suddenly looked old, weary, and defeated.
“We need ye to try, uncle,” Aidam said. “I’ve spent me whole life tryin’ to be more like ye. When my mother was cast out for the same reasons Lady MacAskill and ye faced, ye helped her, yet ye seem to have no compassion for yer own love. Why?”
“It’s not the same! Alyssa did not cower to her father’s whims,” Sinclair said, standing up and moving closer to Lady MacAskill. Afraid for Ellie’s mother, Aidam moves around the front of the chair to get between them. “She stood up for the love of her life, yer Da. Sara, didn’t. She didn’t fight for me. She didn’t fight for us. And then, when I gave her a second chance, she still chose to sit out of the fight. It’s not the same at all,” he said before turning on Aidam. “And dae nae lecture me about love, lad. Ye didnae hesitate to betray yer clan and me the second ye fancied yerself in love. And what will ye do when it turns out yer lass here is just like her mam, and she breaks yer heart?”
Aidam knew his uncle was trying to hit him where it would hurt the most, pitting him against Ellie. But there was a difference between Ellie and Lady MacAskill. Ellie refused to marry Sinclair. She chose Aidam. Perhaps she had not yet told him in so many words, but he was confident in his love for her and her love for him in return. He looked at Ellie, and she smiled, squeezing his hand. He leaned down and, in front of his uncle and Lady MacAskill, kissed her.
Ellie was his future. He was sure of that and sure of her.
“Nay, uncle,” he replied. “She’s not the same.”
“I never meant to hurt ye, Lachlan,” Lady MacAskill interjected. “I’m not as brave as Alyssa was. Or even as brave as my own daughter is now with her love. I’ll regret my weakness for all of my days, but why take out my failings on this clan, on yer son, yer own flesh and blood!?”
“My son,” Sinclair repeated.
