“Of course.” Her voice lowered as she answered, suddenly shy. He never wanted her to be shy with him. He wanted her to confide in him. To give him all of her secrets, the good and the bad.
“Ellie…” The words were lost on him. All he knew was he could not let her marry Sinclair.
Perhaps if she knew how he felt about her… Could he really tell her? He did not have a choice. He loved her.
He had loved her since they were young, and while he may not deserve her friendship, let alone her love in return, Aidam could not allow Ellie to throw her life away. She was too good and had too much passion to be locked away in the keep married to a man who did not value her for the rare treasure she was.
“I should really go see about getting ye some food tae break yer fast. Perhaps not tea this morning, something stronger?”
“Ellie, I need tae…we need tae speak about this thing…about what’s been happening between us—” he began. She moved quickly toward the door.
“Aidam, really, there’s no need,” she replied. Her words came out in a nervous rush, suddenly upset. Was it him? He wanted to put her at ease.
“There is, lass—”
A noise from the yard shifted their attention, and by instinct, Aidam turned his head toward the bedchamber window. The men were most likely preparing for their morning exercises now that the day had broken and the morning was underway. He turned back to where Ellie was standing, but she had taken the opportunity to slip out.
He ran a hand through his hair. When would they be alone again? He was running out of time.
* * *
Ellie stood against the cool stone wall outside the kitchens and did her best to control her emotions. She didn’t want to think of Aidam pining for another lass. She couldn’t do it. It hurt. She had known heartache when her father died. She had known grief, but what she was feeling now was different. Aidam’s affection for another lass hurt in a way losing her father did not. She was hollow inside, empty in her grief over her father. But Aidam with another woman was different. And having to hear him speak of her, or worse, to see them together. It cut her deeper than she was ready to admit.
Ellie knew what Aidam was going to say in the bedchamber, and she could not bear it. So she ran. She did not want to hear him say that their stolen kisses, the shared moments that meant so much to her, meant nothing to him. She did not want to hear from his own lips that he loved that other woman. That she so tortured his soul that it drove him to overindulge in drink and act like a smitten lad still in short pants.
No,she thought.‘Tis better to run.
Ellie had more significant concerns. Now more than ever, she had to get out of her marriage to Sinclair. A lifetime in a loveless marriage while watching Aidam be happy with another? No, it would not be possible.
“My lady, can I help ye with somethin’?” Ellie looked up to see one of the cook maids staring at her from the entryway to the kitchen.
“Er…Yes,” Ellie did her best to hide her inner turmoil and adopt the air of the Lady of the Keep. “Can you please have tea and some food brought to Aidam’s bedchamber? He is ill. Perhaps Cook will have broth?”
The young maid gave her a curt nod and disappeared back into the kitchens. Ellie let out a sigh of relief. She had to get a hold of her emotions somehow. If only she knew how.
