Chapter Eleven
Once Ellie reached the stables and the stall where Abel, her gelding, was kept, it was as if she could breathe again. What was she going to do? There was no way she could marry Laird Sinclair, yet every opportunity she had to speak with him, he brushed her off as a nuisance, or worse. The way he treated her in the morning room, like a petulant child, was the last she could take.
“What can I do?” she said to the horse, burying her head in his soft mane. Abel gave a soft whinny, and Ellie held on harder, not even trying to stem the flow of tears as they washed down her cheeks. How foolish she had been to think she could reason with Sinclair. She should have never agreed to leave her home with Sinclair and come to the keep. Her simple idea that she alone could convince the clan leader to give up the idea of their betrothal. Who did she think she was? He was a warrior. He was a man who led other men. He would not acquiesce to a lass such as herself. She had not wanted to ruin her clan’s standing or cause any kind of discord between the two families, and look where it got her. She was nothing more than a bothersome prisoner. And worse, if she stayed in the keep, she would be nothing more for the rest of her life.
“Abel, we should just leave this place,” she said. “I’ll pack some nice apples and carrots for you and a small bag for me. We shall leave under cover of night and never return.” She could return to her original idea and go South, toward Edinburgh, away from the highlands. She could get a job in a shop or doing needlework. It would be a different life than the one she was used to, for sure, but Ellie was a smart lass. She knew she was. She could be happy.
Then she thought of Evander, and her sobs came on harder than before. Suppose she left like a thief in the night. Sinclair was sure to treat her as such and retaliate against her brother. Perhaps that was what the laird wanted all along. Perhaps he knew she would not be able to go through with a loveless marriage and orchestrated this whole farce as a way to get his hands on her dead father’s land and clan. Nay. That would be the effect of her leaving true, but the laird entered into an agreement with her mother. It was not a plan on his part, but that didn’t mean he would not demand satisfaction. If not in her as his bride, then from her brother in battle. Ellie could not allow Evander to suffer for her decisions. The boy had barely been Laird for a sennight and had never seen battle. How could he fair against a clan like Sinclair? He would be ruined. Her family, her brother, her father’s legacy, and even her cheating, horrid mother would all be destroyed because of her actions. She could not bear it. Yet, Sinclair would not give her as much thought as a bothersome gnat. What else could she do? Perhaps if she went to Evander, convinced him to help her, they could run away together?
Nay,she thought.How can I ask him tae give up his clan, his own legacy? His birthright?
Ellie was stuck and stuck in a way that had not been clear to her until that moment. Sinclair’s dismissal of her as nothing more than a flighty bird of a child paired with his anger at her questioning of his motives showed exactly what kind of dismissive, uncaring brut of a husband he would be. She could not live her life with such a man, yet she could not leave. Perhaps she could go for a ride. When she had been back home, before her father died, riding had been one of her favorite things. The wind in her face helped clear her mind. She found when she was in nature with a horse, she was free to think through her most challenging problems.
She pulled the saddling down from the wall where it was stored, and not needing nor seeing any of the stable hands, she prepared Abel for a ride herself. The act of cooing and calming the horse as she got him ready helped calm her as well, but she could not help the single tear that would escape every few moments. The grief of losing her father and realizing that she was in over her head with Sinclair was overwhelming indeed.
Pulling the lead, she left the stable when she saw Aidam walking into the stable yard. His golden hair shone in the sunlight. Ellie’s breath hitched, and she frantically wiped at her face hoping to erase any proof of her sadness. How did he always find a way to show his face when she was her most vulnerable? Why did she discover she didn’t mind as much as she should? As he drew closer, she feared she would not be able to hide the fact that she had been sobbing mere moments before, and she ducked her head as she tried to walk past him.
“Dae nae bother, lass. It wouldnae matter,” he said, smiling as he stopped in front of her and took Abel’s lead from her hand.
“Whatever are you talkin’ about, Aidam Sinclair?” Were she in any other mood, perhaps she would have fought him for control of the horse, but Ellie found she did not have much fight left in her this morning. Instead, she did her best to pretend she had no idea he saw her crying.
“It wouldnae matter what ye did, or how hard ye rubbed yer cheeks, ye couldnae hide yer beauty from me, Heloise MacAskill,” he said using her full name as she so often did to him. She found she liked it, but she liked when he called her Ellie even more. However, she would never admit that to him. It reminded her of when they were young, and she would follow him around. She fancied herself his equal then, running through the heather and playing in the woods. Times were easier, then. “Are ye plannin’ on going for a ride, then, lass?”
“I was,” she replied, deciding it was safer at the moment to act his better than allow him to think he came upon her upset. “The fresh air will do me some good after last night’s feast.”
“Great,” he said. “Give me a moment, and I’ll saddle me horse tae come with ye.”
“Aidam, ‘tisn’t necessary.”
“Och, but it is,” he replied, giving her a wink. “Have ye forgotten that I’m tae guard ye?”
“Guard me against what?” She put her hands on her hips and stared Aidam down. The way he spoke, it was as if she were in danger at every turn. If only he knew the real threat came from his own uncle and what she would do if forced to marry the older man.
“There are all sorts of men up to no good out there,” he said, his tone becoming serious. “I cannae guarantee yer safety if ye leave th’ grounds without my protection.”
“And what makes ye think I was plannin’ on leaving the keep?”
“Were ye just goin’ for a trot around th’ keep then?” He looked down at Abel and back up at her, his searing blue eyes giving her no room to lie. Not that she would, but Aidam’s concern unnerved her. Everything about Aidam unnerved her. She thought back to their shared dance the night before at the feast. He moved with her in a way that was too natural for her comfort. Yet, she wanted more. It scared her.
“I dinnae think about where I was goin’,” she replied, surprised by her own honesty.
“How about I take ye on a tour of the Sinclair lands? Would ye like that?”
“Do ye not have anything ye’d rather be doing?” she asked.
“Nay,” he replied. “I told ye, ye’re me responsibility. Besides, I think I’d like tae show ye a bit where I grew up. I’ve seen yer home, but have ye nay seen mine?”
His inquiry was sincere, and Ellie thought she might actually like that. If she couldn’t figure out a way to get out of her doomed marriage, the least she could do was learn about the people and the land where she would call home.
“Aye, I suppose it would be a fine way tae spend the afternoon,” she relented.
“Good, now let me grab me horse, and we’ll be off,” he said, winking again. Ellie found herself smiling as he handed her back Abel’s reign, and he disappeared into the stable.Leave it tae Aidam,she thought.Tae make me feel as though I belong.
* * *
There was a lot Aidam admired about Ellie, but currently, her riding was at the top of his list. She was an excellent horsewoman. Her command of the gelding was precise. Watching her as they rode through the fields just outside of the Sinclair keep’s strong stone wall was a sheer pleasure for Aidam. He did not remember noticing on the ride from MacAskill lands how well she handled herself on a horse, but she moved the horse to her whim. Animal and woman were in complete sync. Had she always been so deft on the animal? What other secrets was she hiding underneath her lady’s façade?
The sky began to darken a bit, and the wind blew from the West. A few loose strands of Ellie’s hair came undone from her braids and flew loose behind her. Aidam gently nudged his own horse to catch up to her and ride alongside.
“It looks like rain. Perhaps we should head back?” He asked. She frowned and looked up at the clouds forming above. Even when discouraged, she was beautiful.
“Ye can head back if ye want,” she replied. “I think I’ll ride into th’ village and ride out the rain there. Besides, it doesnae look like it will be a heavy storm. Just a passing Spring shower. Enough to feed the wildflowers.” Aidam knew she was most likely right. The air didn’t feel like heavy rain, although it was still damp enough to give them both a good soaking, and she could catch her death. Then where would he be? His stomach began to announce the noon hour, and Aidam was familiar enough with their surroundings to have an idea.
“What if we wait the rain out somewhere close where I ken we could get some food?”
“Like a tavern?” she asked, pulling her horse up to a stop.“How is that any different than my sayin’ I was gonna go tae th’ village?” Aidam could see the irritation in her eyes. She did not like it one bit when a man took charge. Or, more precisely, she did not seem to like it one bit when he took control. Instead of being irritated with her right back, he was amused.
“Nay, not like a tavern,” he replied, smiling to himself. He knew that when they arrived where he had in mind, Ellie would be relieved they would not have to share a meal in a dark and dank tavern or, worse, a traveling inn. “Just follow me, lass.” He kicked his horse just enough to let the stallion know it was time to put some speed into his legs and took off to the east toward a small thicket of trees and brush. “Oh, and try to keep up,” he shouted back to her, turning for long enough to see her spur her own horse into action and a smile cross her face as they gathered speed.
