Chapter Ten
To call her sleep fitful would be an outright lie, Ellie thought, as she greeted the dawn. She did not sleep at all. After fleeing the feast, she tried to find Laird Sinclair but had no luck. She wandered aimlessly, only knowing that their betrothal could go on no longer. She was tired of living a lie.
Still, she did not know all of the nooks and crannies of the castle and could only look in the usual places—his study, his chambers, and the kitchens all to no avail. After an hour, she heard the voices from the feast as they scattered throughout the castle, so, defeated, she thought it better to return to her own chambers and go to bed.
“If I hurry and dress, I can make it tae the morning room, and when Sinclair comes tae break his fast, I’ll be able tae speak with him.” Ellie gave herself a curt nod as she addressed the empty room with her intentions. She hurried to dress herself, not wanting to wait for her lady’s maid and potentially miss her chance with Sinclair.
The castle was still quiet as she made her way down the staircase and through the main hall toward where the family often took their meals. She knew the Laird liked to dress and eat early before heading out to spar with his men, but dawn had barely broken, and there was no way she missed him.
“Lady Heloise, yer up a might early.” Ellie jumped to find Sinclair’s body man, Duncan already making up a plate of eggs, toast, and various other items, when she entered the room.
“Aye, Duncan, ye startled me,” she said, giving him a friendly smile. He was a braw highlander. Ellie could tell he was a strong and able warrior.
“Och, not my intention, lass,” he said. “I hear tell ye had a good time at the feast last night. I expected ye tae still be abed like most of lads and lassies yer age.”
“Duncan, really, I am not that young,” she said. She understood what he was driving at. Although friendly to her since her arrival, he thought she was wrong for Sinclair, too young. Even though he was not much older than her himself, she agreed but could hardly say that out loud, so instead, she smiled her brightest, most innocent smile before continuing. “I was hoping to meet with his Lairdship this mornin’. Have ye seen him up and about yet?”
“Aye, lass, he should be here any minute. Bade me make meself a plate before we went out to ride and check the fields. It’ll be a busy day in the keep, houseguests or nay.”
“Thank ye, Duncan. If ye see his lairdship on yer way out, will ye tell him I wish tae have a word?” She knew Duncan was purposely pointing out that Sinclair was a busy man, and she didn’t care. He was still in the castle, and she could speak with him before he departed.
Duncan gave her a curt nod and took his plate out of the room. Ellie sat down at the large dining table. She could smell the buffet of food that was put out awaiting the family and guests alike, but she was unable to eat a thing. Her nerves were shot. She could not afford to miss another opportunity to speak with Sinclair. Every hour she stayed in the castle and was expected to become the lady of the keep, her heart grew sicker.
After what felt to Ellie like an eternity, the great doors opened, and in walked her betrothed.
“My Laird,” she said, standing and then giving Sinclair a deep curtsy.
“Heloise, what th’ devil ye doin’ up so early, lass?” he asked before moving to sit at the head of the long table. A servant rushed in behind him and poured a cup of what looked to Ellie like strong, stiff black mud. Steam rose from the cup, so it was a hot beverage, but the smell that reached her nose was acrid and bitter. “Och, lass, donnae turn yer nose up that way, ye look like a wee bairn.”
“Apologies, my laird,” she said. “What is that yer drinking? It smells terrible.”
“Never ye mind that, ‘tis coffee and a man’s drink. Would ye like a cup of tea? That’s much more suited tae a lady’s taste, I’m told.”
Ellie smiled, glad for a gracious beginning with the laird. Hopefully, his congenial mood would extend with what she had to say. “Nay, my laird. Thank ye, but I wish tae speak with ye if ye have a moment.”
“Aye, a moment is about all I have, lass. I’m verra busy.”
“Yes, my laird,” she replies, grateful for any time at all. She takes a deep breath and decides to be blunt. “I dae nae think we should wed, my laird. I ken ye have some kind of arrangement with my mother, but it must be broken off. It is clear by the way ye dismissed me last evening, and with our difference, we dae nae suit one another. I wish tae part as friends and bring no shame tae Clan Sinclair, or my own clan, but I cannae marry ye.” The words came out in a rush of breath, and Ellie realized she had been staring at her feet the entire time she spoke. There was silence from Sinclair, and she suddenly felt awash with fear, unable to look up and see his reaction to her admission.
“Ye think we donae suit?” he asked, his tone eerily calm. Ellie looked up and saw a shadow cross his face.
“Ye…yes, my laird. We donae suit.”
“I see,” he replied, wiping his mouth with a linen. He set it down on the table and folded his hands in front of himself as he stared at Ellie. “And ye think it’s best we call off the betrothal.”
Relief washed over her. He actually listened to what she said, and she knew he was a good man and would agree. She could be on her way, and no one would have to be hurt. She smiled broadly. “Yes, my laird. Oh yes, we should call it off right away. I kent ye’d understand.”
“Oh, I understand, lass,” he said. “I understand perfectly well. But we’ll nae be calling off any betrothal. You see, Heloise, ye are a meer child ‘tis true. Although yer grown and a fine example of a woman and a lady, yer naught more than a babe. Do ye think ‘tis easy tae just call off a betrothal? Do ye think ye can willy nilly just wake up one morn’ and decide because ye didnae like the smell of me coffee, we dae nae have tae honor our agreement?”
Ellie was stunned silent. She did not know how to respond. That wasn’t what happened at all.
“Well, lass? Do ye think this a game? I have an agreement with yer mother, with yer clan. There are conditions that need tae be met. I’ve spent a near fortune tae bring ye here. Ye cannae just decide ye dae nae wanna marry, and that’s the end of it.” He stood then and slammed his fist down on the table. The resulting thud making Ellie jump out of her skin. She had never seen a man as angry—even her father, when upset, did his best to hide his anger from her and her brother. But now Sinclair had rage in his eyes, and although he hadn’t raised his voice, Ellie feared what would come next. Yet, she heard herself speak. She refused to give up lightly. This was her future, and if she didn’t try and fight for it, how would she ever hold her head up again?
“But, my laird, I never wanted this betrothal tae begin with. Ye and my Mam gave me no choice in th’ matter. I dae nae decide this lightly.” She wanted her words to be strong, but she could feel her resolve fading away with each moment she stayed in the room with Sinclair. She looked around to see they were alone. The servants had left, and as the laird’s gaze grew darker, Ellie began to fear what he may do.
“Och, ye dae nae ken what ye want. Parading around the castle like ye expect tae be the lady of the keep, yet tellin’ me ye dae nae want to be me bride. I think ye nothing but a selfish little chit, is what I think, and because I left ye party early, ye got a bee in yer bonnet. Ye need tae think about what ye say, lass. Ye’ll nay be getting out of this wedding. What’s done is done. Ye lucky I dae nae put ye over me knee for addressing me in such a way!”
“But my laird, please…”
