Chapter Five
The trip back to camp from the little loch had been uneventful except for Aidam’s relentless smugness, and Ellie couldn’t wait to put the whole incident out of her mind for good. She went back into her tent without sparing him the pleasure of another glance, and he settled outside. Occasionally, she could hear him chuckling to himself. Thank God no one was awake as of yet. She could bear her shame in peace.
Infuriating man. And whydidI prepare to bathe when I kent he was following? Did I want to see what he would do? What’s wrong with me? I wanted him tae see.
Ellie pushed down the flare of heat that colored her cheeks and made her squirm at the thought of Aidam in the brush while she stood nude on the bank. What if he had come out? Approached her? Would she have turned him away? Probably not. Not if she were honest with herself. As much as he irked her, a part of her desired him. Ellie couldn’t think that way. It had been a test, nothing more—and a test that Aidam had failed. She could report his behavior to Laird Sinclair; he would be removed from her guard. It would make it easier for her, wouldn’t it? Nay, she’d decided. There was no need to sow family discord, not when she had enough of that in her old home with her mother. However, it was clear now that she could not trust herself around Aidam. And he could not be trusted either. She must be on her guard at all times. He was a risk she could not take. Not ever.
Yet, he had seen her without any clothing, and even when she’d hit him with the stone…Lord, the way he’d looked at her! Was that what it felt like to be worshipped? He’d looked at her like a hungry man finding bread. She hadn’t failed to notice how his eyes trailed her up and down, taking all of her in. She liked it. It made her feel warm. He’d made her feelbeautifulwith just a look, bonnier than any princess in a story.
Ellie absently ran a hand down her own now-clothed body, feeling her skin through the thin fabric of her dress and shift. She brushed over her breast, lingering for a second before moving down her belly then out to her knees. Had Aidam really wanted to touch her? Would it have felt as good as her own touch? Better?
She traced her hand back up her leg, gently dancing her fingers at the base of her belly just before the dip in her skirt.
Why does imagining Aidam make me feel so much warmer? Will I feel this way with any man?
Her hand twitched, ready to move again, explore her own body a little further. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head back, surrendering to the pleasure brought about by her own hand. She had touched herself before, but thinking of Aidam and his look brought a rushed fury to her movements, making her wanton. Pressure began to build as she allowed her fingers to slip below her skirts to find the small opening of her shift. Perhaps if she could just reach where the longing felt the strongest, she could relieve herself of the thought of him, perhaps…
“Lady Heloise?” It was Laird Sinclair’s voice. Ellie hastily scrambled to cover herself and jump to her feet. What was she thinking, there was quite literally an army of men around her, and she let her thoughts of fantasy get away from her so easily. “Heloise, are ye decent, lass?” She faked a yawn and climbed out of her tent.
“A fair morning to you, me dear,” Sinclair offered. The Laird held out a hand, then kissed hers in greeting. She did her best to keep her face neutral, but the attention felt forced and wrong. “Did ye sleep well? It’s nice to see yer clothes dried over the night.”
He doesnae notice that I’ve changed clothes. Good.If Sinclair didn’t notice the finer details of her person, perhaps she would have better luck convincing him they did not suit.
“Aye, the bedroll ye provided was comfortable,” Ellie replied, keeping her tone cool and disinterested. “And yerself? Ye slept well?”
“Aye, I’m used tae sleepin’ on the ground,” the Laird replied. “Battle is nae kind with th’ sleepin’ arrangements. But we should move. The men are eager tae get home to a well-cooked meal.” Ellie was only half listening; she was distracted, allowing the Laird to lead her away from the tent. Aidam walked past. She could feel his eyes boring into her. She turned to face him, but she stubbornly looked away quickly as she felt her cheeks redden. She wouldnotlet him think that she was dwelling on what happened earlier that day.
“I asked ye your thoughts, lass,” Sinclair’s voice brought her back from distraction.
“Aye, my laird,” she said. “Of course.” Sinclair gave her a wide smile. Unease settled in Heloise’s stomach as she realized she had no idea what she agreed to.
Eventually, they were ready to leave. Suddenly she felt her feet leave the ground. Ellie let out a small shriek as Sinclair picked her up, using both arms to lift her high from the ground. “Ahh, my laird?!”
“Ye said ye wanted tae ride with me, lass. Me horse is much too high for ye tae climb up on yer own.” Sinclair looked surprised at her shock, and Ellie realized what she had absently agreed to. She hid her groan. She would have to ride with the Laird back to the keep. She couldn’t refuse now. He would realize she had not been paying attention prior.
“Of course, my laird,” she responded, correcting her position on the horse. “Ye simply surprised me with yer strength is all.” She looked about; she was indeed much higher from the ground than she had been on Abel the day before. She heard a disgruntled snicker and looked up to see Aidam on his own horse scowling at her. She turned her head up and smiled at his uncle as the older man jumped on the horse. Aidam kicked his horse’s hind and galloped ahead. She let out a breath. At least it would be much easier to seem like her avoidance of Aidam was natural riding with the laird.
However, she felt the odd looks that Lachlan cast toward her every so often. Could he sense the tension between her and Aidam? Had he guessed that something happened?
Nay. And nothing happened. I am nae that kind of lass.
She repeated the thought over and over in her head, and she tried with all of her heart to ignore the fluttering she felt inside when she glimpsed at Aidam. If she ignored it, perhaps she would no longer feel that deep, dark heat every time she remembered the way his eyes had swept her body, the way his kiss had felt the other day.
Ellie glanced at Lachlan—at her betrothed. He was riding well, talking to her about some battle or the other. Perhaps it was meant to be impressive, but Ellie could barely pay attention. Though she nodded and commented at all of the right parts, having learned her lesson from the morning about answering when not listening, every time she caught a hint of Aidam’s blond hair, every time she saw him ride past—he consumed her thoughts entirely.
No.No.She would not dwell on Aidam, the kiss, the loch, or any of the nonsense between them, whatsoever.
She would put it all out of her mind. Shecouldput it out of her mind.
She simply had to.
* * *
They arrived in the Sinclair lands before the end of the day, though the keep was still a half day’s ride away.
“We should stop in Melrigg for th’ night,” Aidam suggested to his uncle. He could see the eagerness in the men’s faces at being in home territory. There was enough room in the local inn to house everyone, and the soldiers could be given the rest of the evening off to do as they would in the village.
“Aye, ‘tis a grand idea, lad,” Sinclair said. Aidam snuck a guarded look toward Ellie, who sat snug against the laird’s back. The idea of her so comfortable against his uncle made Aidam bristle. He knew he should not concern himself with the lass, but she consumed his thoughts the entire ride. Now he was reduced to carrying her trunk up from the stables to the bedchamber they had reserved for her. “Only the best for my Laird’s betrothed,” the innkeeper had said. Aidam had already given the men leave. So, it fell to him to bring the trunk, which was how he now found himself sitting uncomfortably with his uncle and Ellie.
