Just more than a year and a half later, she and Reginald had concluded their nuptials, just in time for her father to see her wedded – and in his mind – bedded, before he left this mortal realm and his daughter behind, unprotected.
Reginald began to curse above her, his face now inches from hers as he held himself up on his forearms. His legs straight out between hers, nightgown still firmly in place.
“My Lord?” she whispered, fear coiling around her stomach like a snake around its prey.
“You’re useless, damned-well useless, woman,” he spat, his face right up against hers, “You can’t even do the most basic of a woman’s duties correctly. What a waste of space you are.”
He rolled off her, wheezing at the effort as he tried to stand up. He leaned against the bedpost, eyes focusing on hers, holding her gaze, refusing to let up.
“What a damned disappointment you are. I will never gain an heir off a useless broodmare such as you. You took a virile stud of a man –” Reginald poked himself in the chest, “and turned him into a gelding!”
“I’m so sorry, Husband. I wish I knew what I was doing wrong. I would fix it instantly if I could,” Vivien repeated the words by rote.
“You are cold and ugly. It’s no surprise you can’t stir desire in my loins. Wish that I could change the past and be rid of the curse you’ve brought to me,” Reginald continued, ignoring Vivien.
She was tired of being useless. But there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t very well ask the kitchen maids what she was doing wrong; the Lady of the house surely had to know everything about everything. She felt like a failure – she knew next to nothing about the marital act. She only knew that she was the reason they had failed to consummate their marriage, no matter how many times they tried.
Vivien hung her head in shame. Once again, she had failed in her wifely duties.
She could only breathe again when Reginald had left her rooms, slamming the door shut behind him.
* * *
The sun was rising by the time Kieran was finished visiting the families of the men they’d lost that afternoon. Tendrils of pink and orange stretched across the sky, breaking through the gray cloud cover. It was the type of sunrise poets sang about, Kieran thought sourly to himself. He was in no mood for beauty or happiness, not when seven of his closest companions were dead, and he was the one looked to for blame and answers.
The Laird had one last stop to make before he could even think of laying his body on his bed in an attempt to rest.
Kieran stopped outside the healer’s cabin, breathing deeply, his hands trembling.
He could only hope for good news. He – his clan – had lost enough this last day.
He opened the door slowly, hoping not to disturb any sleeping patients. It was dim inside the cabin; the fire had been banked for the night. Only three bodies were lying on pallets on the ground. The one nearest him was the clan’s healer; the other two could only be Bailey and one of the other men who had been wounded during the attack.
Kieran’s face burned red hot in shame at the sight of his friend lying dead still on a pallet, his skin pale and clammy. The guilt gnawed at his bones like acid. But Bailey was breathing. His chest rose and fell, and though he murmured sounds of pain, he seemed peaceful enough.
The healer woke up while Kieran was standing over Bailey, thanking his lucky stars that his friend had survived.
The old maid made her way to him, each bone in her body creaking as she moved after lying still for so long. She came to stand beside him, staring down at Bailey herself.
“How is he?” Kieran asked quietly.
“He’ll pull through, Laird,” she replied, “He’s been hurt badly, an’ it’ll tak’ a while tae recover, but so long as tha’ wound doesn’t tak’ an infection, he’ll be jus’ fine.’
“Yer sure?”
The healer raised her eyebrows at Kieran, pursing her lips.
“I was there the day ye were born – an’ I’ll probably be there the day ye die, Laird. I’ve seen more wounds than ye can imagine, watched more men die than ye should ever hope tae see.” She fixed Kieran with a stern stare. “An’ I’m tellin’ ye, he’ll pull through. Ye jus’ leave it tae me an’ him. He’ll never be the same, mind ye. He’ll never breathe the way he did ‘afore, but he’ll be breathin’. That’s all that matters, ey?”
“Aye, that’s all that matters. Thank you for lookin’ after him. And yer other patient? The young lad they pulled out o’ the fire today?” Kieran peered at the young boy; he too was breathing deeply but much more heavily labored than Bailey. He had been stuck in the woods and sustained some burns to his extremities. Kieran could only imagine the pain the poor child had endured. But to see him sleeping peacefully, he knew the healer must have dosed him with something stronger than just a bit of ale.
“Ah, him,” she clucked, “He may or may no’ be strong enough tae get through this. It’s a difficult thing; it is a burn. It can go wrong in seconds, or it can be fine the next day. Only time will tell with this one, I’m afraid.”
“Tha’s some hope at least, then,” Kieran sighed, “Keep me up to date, will ye? I’ll come see Bailey again when he’s awake. I jus’ needed to set me mind at ease ‘afore I go find mysel some rest.”
The healer nodded, turning to her ministrations to her two patients while Kieran left the cabin as quietly as he could.
Kieran was no scholar, but the warrior in him knew something was off about that fire. Someone had started it intentionally; someone had sent those men out to attack his men. He would get to the bottom of it, one way or the other.
