* * *
Kieran lay beside Vivien, her hair splayed across his chest, her breathing slowing down, her heartbeat thundering against his. All he could feel was utter completion and the thrill of being inside her again, of being with her again.
There was nothing as satisfying as the time he had spent making love to her. The passion he felt for her was matched by her.
“Vivien,” Kieran whispered, not wanting to end the dream of them being together, but knowing that their time together was limited.
“Kieran,” she answered lazily, her smile dazzling in its beauty.
“Stay,” he said, knowing that she would understand what he meant.
She sighed, closing her eyes tightly as she inhaled deeply.
Finally, she opened her eyes, meeting his gaze. Kieran already knew what her answer was, but he let her say it anyway.
“I wish I could.”
“Ye can. I can protect ye,” he replied, trying to push down the desperation he felt. He knew he could protect Vivien – he knew that she belonged next to him, not in Stone Castle with a cruel and calculating old man.
“I don’t doubt that,” she said, raising herself up on her elbow, searching his eyes, “But you know that the only way to gain the information you need to protect your clan against Stone is through me.”
“I can find another way tae get that, Vivien. Ye dinnae need tae keep putting yersel’ in harm’s way for us. We can mak’ a plan,” he implored her.
Kieran could see the pain thinly veiled in her eyes – he knew Vivien wanted to say yes. But her pride and determination were holding her back. It was admirable; he knew that. She wanted nothing more than to help him and his clan at great cost to herself.
Kieran wished he could change their circumstances yet again.
“No, we cannot.” She shook her head determinedly. “You need me to be able to sabotage any further attacks – I need to give you that information. Besides,” she took a deep, shuddering breath, “Bailey is still being held in the dungeons. If I leave… I do not want to think what Stone will do to him. As long as I am there, I can keep my eye on him and ensure his safety as best I can.”
Kieran closed his eyes, swearing to himself. He had all but forgotten Bailey; his guilt gnawed at him again. Vivien was right; Stone would not hesitate to kill Bailey if he took her from the man. As much as Kieran needed Vivien to be safely at his side, he knew she would never agree to it while Bailey’s life was in danger.
Kieran could not ask her to walk away from that. She was stronger, braver than she knew. And so much more powerful and determined than she would ever think herself to be.
“We can mak’ a plan tae rescue Bailey,” he said weakly, finally admitting to himself that they needed Vivien’s information more than he wanted to admit. Kieran knew that he could not take on Lord Stone without the strength of his allied clans. And with their internal struggle for power and his own weak standing after the attack in the forest, he could not risk antagonizing Stone. He needed the backing of the clans before he made any definitive move against the Englishman.
That fact drove Kieran to anger more than anything else. Vivien had to remain at the mercy of the man while he stood by helpless, hoping for his allies to end their feud so that they could push the Englishman out of their territory.
“Let me do this, Kieran, please,” Vivien said, the determination strong in her tone, “All of my life, I have been nothing more than a decorative object, passed from my father to Lord Stone. I have never had a purpose; I have never felt useful.”
“Yer as far from useless as it gets,” Kieran murmured, brushing stray locks of her hair behind her ear.
“For the first time in my life, you might be right. I need to do this – I need to be something other than a helpless woman. I need to do everything I can to help you and your clan. Please do not ask me not to.”
Kieran nodded; he knew Vivien was right. Bailey was far too fragile to be left to Lord Stone’s whims. He was still healing from the first attack; he had never been a warrior. He would never survive without intervention – as much as it galled Kieran to admit it, he needed Vivien’s help to make sure his friend could come home.
He despised the fact that he had to put her in harm’s way even further for it; he felt selfish in his own way for allowing her to do this. He should insist and not take no for an answer, but Kieran also knew that what Vivien needed was not a man who told her what to do and when to do it.
She was independent. That was one mistake Kieran would never make, unlike Reginald. He would always allow Vivien her freedom, her right to be who she truly was.
“When I can, when it is over, I will come to you. I will stay with you if ever I can,” Vivien said, smiling shyly at him.
“I will mak’ sure that day comes,” Kieran replied vehemently.
“I know you will. I have a purpose now, Kieran.” Vivien smiled at him, her eyes sparkling with unbridled joy. “I need to help Scotland and the man I love stay safe.”
Kieran felt his eyes growing wide as his pulse quickened. He almost wondered if he had misheard Vivien, but he knew down to his very core that he had not.
Vivien’s hand flew to her mouth, her own eyes widening at the words that had so easily slipped from her mouth.
