Her fingers shook as she pushed the door open. Torcall wasn’t asleep. His eyes were trained outside the window. The only light in the cell was a single candle. He hadn’t expected her. She knew this because once he turned back and saw her, he froze. Then he stood. She walked to him, saying nothing and simply took him in her arms.
The tears rolled down her eyes steadily, and she didn’t even notice.
“Oh, Torcall,” she sobbed. “I am so sorry,” she said to him as though she was responsible for where he was.
“Oh, no, my love,” he pulled away from her. “You must nae cry. I have been strong so far, but yer tears would weaken me. You must nae cry.”
Ceana shook her head. “I cannae help it, Torcall. They will kill ye,” she sobbed.
“Aye,” Torcall said with a finality that broke her heart. “But they have nae broken me. ‘Tis what matters most.”
“But they have broken me, Torcall,” she sobbed. He was going to die. Of what use was it to mince words?
“And through ye,” he said quietly, “they will get to me.”
If his words had been said any other day, Ceana would have treasured them forever, but at that moment, nothing could expel the despair she felt.
“Ceana,” Torcall said quietly. He arched up against her chin with his thumb and looked into her eyes. Gently, he wiped away her tears away. “There is somethin’ I ought to tell ye,” he said with a small smile. The breeze outside of his cell was cool, and, for some reason, Ceana knew she would remember every detail of that moment. “I fancy ye. Nay—that cannae be right. I do nae fancy ye. I love ye. I do nae ken when I fell for ye, but I have, and there is naught I can do about it. ‘Tis nae somethin’ I would ever have spoken to ye. This clan was ne’er for me. I needed to prove meself to me uncle before I took me leave. Perhaps, the wanderer’s lust I’d always felt was to protect me from this, but I didnae let it guide me. I would have left here and allowed ye be. Ye would have married some honorable man who would have built a life with ye in the clan, and ye two would have been happy. I could ne’er have given ye that, and so I thought it selfless nae to allow meself to love ye, and when I loved ye, I thought it selfless nae to tell ye. But I am a man on the road of death. They will kill me, and I can do naught about it. So, for what it’s worth, I want ye to ken that I love ye. I ken it is selfish still. There is another man ye love. I cannae say I am happy for ye, but I pray he cares for ye like ye deserve or me spirit shall haunt him.”
Ceana stood rooted to the spot and silent.
“Ceana?”
“Oh, ye silly man,” she said, feeling delirious. Emotions of pain, joy, and a million others swarmed her, and she was dizzy with the force of them.‘Tis ye I spoke about. ‘Tis ye that I love. None other. I didnae want to tell ye for ye had said that there wasnae hope for--”
“Ceana!” the harsh whisper came from outside. Ceana turned to find her father at the entrance to the cell.
“What are ye doin’ here, Faither?”
Torcall froze. He didn’t know what would ensue, but Ceana’s Faither didn’t even seem to care about his presence.
“We must leave now. There is nae time. The guards will be back soon. I am sorry.”
Ceana shot a desperate look at Torcall.
“Quick!” he urged. “Go!”
Before Ceana ran out of the door, she squeezed Torcall’s hand. It was all that she could do.
* * *
Hours later, when the dawn of the new day broke, Ceana was alone in her room. She was empty. Blank. In her head was nothing except the thought that at the dawn of the next day, the only man that she had ever loved and would ever love would be put to death for a crime that he hadn’t committed. And there was absolutely nothing that she could do about it. She had considered many times slipping him out of the prisons just the way she had slipped in, but Dirk’s words rang heavy. They expected him to try to escape, and they were waiting. If she was caught, her family would lose everything. She wiped the tears she hadn’t known were falling from her eyes.
And he loved her. For years, she had ached for his love, and he had said that he loved her. Yet, she hadn’t even been allowed to feel the joy his love would have given her. She hadn’t even been able to tell him just how much she loved him.
“Ceana,” Alina said, startling her.
She jumped a little and turned her eyes to her sister. “Sorry,” she managed to say. “I didn’t hear ye come in.”
Alina’s heart broke at the state her sister was in. “Ye went to see him, did ye nae?”
“Yes,” Ceana said, struggling to compose herself.
Alina sat beside her. “And what did he say?”
“He said,” she said, struggling with the words, “that he loved me, and that I should nae let his death break me, for they couldnae get to him through any other way than me. The control she had struggled for escaped her at that moment, and she began to sob like her heart would break.
Alina’s eyes teared as she watched her sister cry. It only further cemented her decision. She took Ceana in her arms and held her tightly. Then she pulled away.
