“Nay—” he cut her off. “Ye have spoken yer mind. Thank ye.”
“Torcall--” she pleaded.
“Get on yer horse. I cannae leave ye here alone no matter how much I wish to be rid of yer presence. I shall leave ye once we get to the market. Get ready. We will ride fast.”
Chapter Fifteen
Ceana was angry as she made her way home. Men and women who had known her to be chatty and polite made their way past her that evening, expecting her to smile at them, greet them or strike brief conversations with them, but she did not. She was in her own world of guilt and anger. He had said nothing to her after the words at the loch.
Why did ye open yer mouth and speak?She berated herself.He is in pain, and all ye could think about was yerself.
Ceana believed herself to be good and fair to everyone around her. She loved children, and she loved helping the elderly as well. It was quite easy for her to put her feelings aside when it came to others, but with Torcall, her emotions were a floodgate. He did not understand it, for he was a man, she knew.
“Men do nae understand women. They think because they swing swords and fight battles, drink mead and deal with the clan's affairs, that means they can ken the thoughts in a woman’s heart. They ken nothin’,” her mother often told her and her sister Alina.
While she agreed with her mother at that moment, she could not shake off the sourness between her breasts. Torcall probably hated her, she thought to herself. The thought was not one that she believed herself strong enough to ignore or accept. With this sadness, she made her way home.
“Oh, ye are home. I thought ye would sleep outside the house tonight,” her mother had teased her, but she had not been in the mood for chit-chat. The only person she would have wanted to speak with was her sister Alina. So before making her way into her own bedroom, she came to Alina’s door and knocked twice. Twice was enough to not have become a nuisance and little enough to learn if her sister wanted company or was asleep.
Alina did not answer her door whenever she wanted her alone time, and so Ceana knew that she could not speak to her sister that evening. Tired from the mental torture that she had been going through since Torcall had walked out on her, she went into her bedroom and fell onto her bed.
I pray only for the peace of slumber,she muttered a prayer and closed her eyes, but her words were in vain. Perhaps God did not wish to allow her sleep since she had hurt another man, she thought to herself when her eyes had been flung open after only a few minutes. She had realized that she had not slept as she thought she had but had simply closed her eyes.
Staring out of her window, she realized the evening had not changed since the last time she had closed her eyes and dreamt of sleep. It had not gotten darker, and the moon had remained still as it was--a faded blue hint that was biding its time in wait of darkness and stars.
She sat on her bed for a few minutes, thinking of what to do. Her stomach growled in need of sustenance, but her mind had no interest in such things.A stroll,she told herself and walked out of her room. Her mother was not in the kitchen anymore, and she thought she also might have gone out of the house.
Ceana pulled a cloak over her dress for the night chill and made her way out into the Highland evening. She loved the evenings, the tranquility of it, the air, its teasing darkness and the tiny whispers of desire. The desire that formed goosebumps on her skin made her recall her mistake of that evening again. If she had not spoken out of turn, she would still have been with Torcall. Perhaps he would have held her in the night chill, taking away her need for warmth or a cloak over her face.
“Good evenin’ Ceana, are ye—” A neighbor who she had walked past on her way to the house had greeted her, expecting to learn about the cause of her silence, but she had smiled at her.
“Good evenin’ to ye. How are yer children?” Ceana had asked the dumbfounded woman.
“They are in high spirits and do nae seem as though they would fall asleep any time soon. This might be one of those nights when I do nae find sleep,” the relieved woman replied.
“I am sorry about that,” Ceana replied with a sincere smile.I feel the same way about sleep.
They exchanged a few more words before Ceana continued her stroll to clear her head. There were so many things going wrong, and all she wanted was calm. Once she was calm, she made a mental note to go and apologize to Torcall. He was mad at her, but she hoped that it would not be for long. She cared about him, and seeing him so furious with her did not quite settle well with her. It was almost as though a part of her was missing.
Alina was sad at the loss of Bridget. She did not wish to be reminded about it because it was all she saw and heard whenever she stepped out of her house, and Torcall was mad at her and would not talk to her. Ceana walked, greeting people as she walked down the familiar paths of the town.
After about an hour of walking, she felt the pinch on fatigue in her legs and knew that her body had forgiven her and might allow her some sleep, so she thought to return. However, just ahead of her was the marketplace, and there was a crowd of people there. With a shrug, she decided to move close to the crowd.
They would be talkin’ about the deaths;she knew. True to her words, the death of the two women was the subject of the conversation. It was all the clan could talk about, for it was strange and frightful. There was a killer in their midst, and yet, there had been no rumor of who the killer might be. It almost seemed as though it was a ghost that had wrought the murders.
“Do nae fret. The Laird MacGregor has called on the help of his brother to find the murderer of these women,” the man who moderated the crowd said to them. Not all that stood there found his words reassuring.
“What can the Laird’s brother do? The men have searched, but they have found nay answers. Everyone has become vigilant, keepin’ watch at night in their own homes, and yet, we have seen no stranger or anyone who might be the killer of these women,” someone argued. People were quick to back him up.
“He found a killer in a clan nae far from here. He kens how to find this murderer. That is why Laird MacGregor asked for his help,” the moderator replied. Ceana left with a bit of reassurance. If there was a man who had been called to the lands to investigate the girls' death, then perhaps Bridget’s parents and Alina would at long last find peace, she hoped.
Walking back to her house, Ceana found fewer people on the road paths. People did not stay out so late anymore since the start of the killings for their safety.
If I had nae waited at the market, I would have been home before dark;she scolded herself as she pulled her cloak tighter around her face and hurried down the path. In those days, the only safe place for a woman when the light was gone from the sky was behind closed doors.
Picking up her pace, she hurried for home, dreading that she had not thought to have a lamp with her when she had left the house. The fatigue in her legs took a toll on her, but her frightful heart kept her walking. She needed to get home as quickly as possible. She knew this and prompted her limbs to move even faster.
A little distance from her house, she hit her leg against a pebble in the dark. Stumbling forward, she put her hands out first to stop her fall. Scared even more by the promise of further darkness, she pulled herself quickly to her feet and then she heard it for the first time. It was a rustle in the woods just to her left. She stopped to listen, but the woods were quiet again.
