“I have missed ye,” Ceana grinned.
“Nae as much as I have missed ye. What say ye? We go for a walk tomorrow morn?”
Ceana nodded eagerly. It would be nice to take a walk with her sister once more.
“What have ye done to occupy yerself, sister?”
“Nae much,” she said in truth.
“Nae much?” her sister asked again.
“Aye.” She considered telling Alina about Torcall but decided against it. It was her little secret, and she wasn’t ready to share it yet. Pushing away guilt, she nodded. “Nae much.”
“That will change tomorrow,” Alina said. “I promise.”
Ceana held her sister’s hands and squeezed lightly. I do nae mind going on only a walk with ye tomorrow. Do nae push yerself, please.”
Alina nodded. “We go on a walk tomorrow, then if I feel up to it, we could go to the shops for our dresses.”
In the heat of Bridget’s death and the mourning and sadness that followed, she had forgotten her dress. It would be nice to have one that Torcall would like. She wondered what his favorite color was. She would have to ask him when they saw each other again. He hadn’t asked to see her again, though, she reminded herself, but she pushed such thoughts aside.
He would see her again, she told herself. If he didn’t want to, he would have held her hand at the play. Did men hold women’s hands if they didn’t like them? She didn’t know much about men, but she decided that it didn’t make a lot of sense to do so if ye didn’t like the person.
“I’m glad to see that nae much has changed,” her sister chuckled.
“Whatever do ye mean?”
“I mean ye still go off into daydreams. I have watched ye here for moments, and yer eyes have shown that ye were off in another daydream.” Alina said fondly.
“Perhaps,” Ceana said. “Perhaps, I was just thinking.” She hated not telling her sister about Torcall, but it didn’t feel right, not yet.
“Alright,” Alina said. “But I do nae believe ye.”
“Ye never do.”
Alina laughed. It was not her usual loud laugh, and Ceana still detected hints of hollowness and emptiness in it. Still, she had laughed, and that was more than Ceana had expected.
Ceana was grateful for the littlest things.
“Will ye have yer dinner with me and ma?” Alina asked. Perhaps it was too much to ask, but Ceana could hope. She could always hope.
The sad look in Alina’s eyes told her it wouldn’t be possible. “Nae now.” There was a sad look in her eyes, and Ceana felt bad for bringing it up.
“That is alright,” she said quickly. “I just had to ask. Ye are missed at the dining table. Ye must ken this.”
Alina nodded her head. Ceana smiled at her one last time. “I should go. I do nae want ye tired out.”
She turned to go when Alina called her back. “If ye want,” Alina offered, “ye could have dinner here with me.”
Ceana looked back to Alina, studying her face. It was typical of her sister to offer to inconvenience herself just to please her. Usually, she took what was offered without any feelings of guilt as she had become accustomed to Alina caring for her. However, the past days had proven to her that Alina needed just as much care as she did.
Sadly, Alina had none other except her. When Alina hadn’t been available for her, Torcall had. He had filled in the gaps in his own way, and it had been easy to move on and not miss Alina to desperation. She found herself wishing that Alina had somebody like that. She had none.
Alina summoned as much strength as she could and shook her head. “Nae,” she said to Alina. “Ye need rest, and ye need yer time alone. I cannae wait to eat dinner again with ye, but I will when I ken that it is best for ye.”
Alina nodded and smiled. Ceana felt pain but reminded herself to be grateful for the little things. Alina was strong. If anyone could push through this, it would be her. She would give her sister as much time as she could.
It was a smile that showed pain and sadness, but it was a smile, and Ceana held on to it. Days ago, there had been no expressions on her face. Today that had changed. It had taken time, but it had changed. She would wait for more to happen.
