“Aye,” he answered vaguely. “We met some time ago.”
Ceana nodded and rested her head on his shoulders, enjoying the strength of them. “‘Tis so hard to face the reality that she is gone,” she told Torcall, who pulled her closer. “I do nae ken how to go home and face me sister. She is distraught.”
“Ye have to help her get over it. She needs ye now. No one else will be able to get through to her.”
“I ken,” she replied though she wished that wasn’t the case. “I do nae ken how,” she said miserably. Alina had always been there for her, and now, she didn’t know how to be there for her.
“Ye do,” Torcall took her hands in his.
“Ye will give her time and continue to be there for her. She needs yer love.”
“I want to do more than love her,” she said, feeling frustrated.
“When I was a young lad, me Faither used to say that sometimes, caring is all one can do. And sometimes, it is enough.”
“He was a wise man.” She looked away.
“Aye, he used to teach me things I was too young to appreciate. I didnae appreciate him in the folly of my infancy.”
Ceana nodded but said nothing. She knew that his Faither was no more and knew that his parents had been killed too. It was obvious that he had known more pain than she ever had. “I think,” she said after a moment of silence, “that the most important thing is that ye appreciate him now. I believe that the dead can watch over us. He sees ye.”
Torcall said nothing. “Perhaps,” he said airily.
“I am sorry about yer loss,” Ceana said.
“‘Twas a long while ago. ‘Tis nae somethin’ ye should worry about.” He looked away.
Ceana wondered if he knew how clearly the pain he felt was written across his face. Ye do nae need to hide it, she wanted to say to him but decided against it.
Torcall stood up. “Come on,” he said to her. “I will walk ye home.”
Grateful for his kind offer, Ceana stood and situated her skirts. Then, she took his proffered hand, and together, they walked to her horse. Torcall left her for a short while to untie his horse from where he had left it at the hidden side of the loch. Then, the pair rode for Ceana’s house.
Chapter Five
On the second day following her return, Ceana tossed back her blankets and rose from her bed with a heaviness in her heart. It was the day that Bridget would be laid to rest, and she dreaded it.
She went through her morning routine solemnly, wishing she knew a way to take back the hands of time or erase the pain in her heart, but she could do none of those things.
Summoning courage, she knocked on the door to her sister’s chamber, but there was no answer. After a thought, she walked away to have a wash but came back when she was done. When she knocked again, and there was no answer, she pushed the door open.
Her sister was seated on her bed in her night robes staring into space. She had begun to do it more often, and it worried them all. Although her mother promised that Alina would get over it soon, it broke Ceana’s heart to see her sister in such a way.
Quietly, Ceana walked to her sister’s bed and sat beside her. Her long red hair was uncombed, and she looked pale. Ceana placed her head on her sister’s shoulder, but there was no reaction.
“Alina,” she said, lifting her head off Alina’s shoulder.
“Aye?”
“It breaks me heart to see ye hurt so,” her voice broke as she spoke. “What can I do? What would make ye feel better?”
For the first time, her sister looked at her. Her eyes still held the empty look they had held since Bridget’s death. “I see her in my dreams, and I miss her so,” Alina said in a whisper.
Ceana said nothing but reached for her sister’s hands and held them.
“I ken that she must have been so frightened, and it hurts me heart. I wasnae there for her, and she was always there for me.”
“I’m sorry,” Ceana said even though the words seemed inadequate.
