The men stopped in Lingow for the night to rest, which worked well for Ivor. He would head to Sadie’s house again and leave first thing in the morning. The solution to the Callum problem was obvious, as well – to Sadie, one more child to feed was no issue.
It would only be a temporary separation. So why am I feeling so anxious about it?
He knew why as they arrived once again at Sadie’s door. She let them in warmly, not even looking surprised to see him again. The children around her were overjoyed that Mossie was back to play.
“Eat first,” Sadie insisted. “Then tell me.”
He did, and by the time dinner was over, he was no closer to the truth of the right thing to do. The older children took the dog and Callum into another room, and Sadie was waiting for Ivor’s explanation.
“I…” he started. “I think Eithne might be in trouble.”
“The lass that ye’ve fallen in love with?” Sadie asked. “The Laird’s daughter?”
So she was playing the fool before when she pretended she didnae ken who Eithne was. That, or she did it out of kindness to me privacy.
“Aye, her,” Ivor agreed. There was no secrecy or denying it, not anymore. What was the point? “I ken there were people after her, but I thought her uncle would be able to protect her. But now these men…”
“Ye’re following them,” Sadie surmised. “To make sure they dinnae hurt her.”
“Aye, and I could easily be making it all up in me head. Lord knows that part of me has wanted to go back to her since the moment we left,” he admitted.
But…even if that was true, even if there was nothing wrong, he already knew that he couldn’t risk it. He couldn’t live with himself if a group of men, even a small group like this, were allowed to sneak past and harm Eithne.
Sadie knew that too. Perhaps that was why she was watching him the way she was.
And yet, leaving Callum behind – it felt viscerally wrong. To leave him like he’d left Iona would be criminal. What if he came back and found Callum was no longer here? What if they got separated and—
“He’ll be here when ye get back, Ivor,” Sadie said quietly. “I promise ye that.”
“Aye, and what if he isnae?” Ivor asked roughly. “What if I leave him, and—"
“Are ye going somewhere?” a new young voice interrupted. Both of them turned to see Callum standing in the doorway, his eyes wide. “I was just coming in for something to drink.”
Sadie stood. “I’ll leave ye alone,” she said. She smiled at Callum and gave Ivor a swift, firm look before leaving through the door that Callum had just entered.
When Ivor and Callum were alone, Callum repeated his question. “Are ye going away?” the boy asked uncertainly. “Do ye not want me anymore?”
“It isnae that,” Ivor said. Suddenly, he felt ten years old again, torn between two impossible choices while his sister lay sick in bed.
She trusted me. He trusts me.
Callum kept looking at him, frowning. “Me mammy and daddy are gone. Are you gonnae go as well?”
“I—” Ivor started. He breathed out. “Remember Miss Eithne? She might be in a lot of trouble,” he explained. “I want—I need to go back and check on her, but there could be fighting. It might be dangerous for her.”
“But ye’ll come back?” Callum asked. “Ye’ll save her then come back?”
Am I strong enough to go to her side and leave it again? I dinnae ken. But he’s counting on me.
“I…Callum, I dinnae want to leave ye behind,” he said gently. “I dinnae ken what the right thing is.”
Callum walked up to him then, putting one of his little hands on Ivor’s muscled arm. “It’s alright,” he said, sounding older than his age. “Dinnae worry. Ye go, and I’ll wait for ye. I trust ye to do the right thing, Ivor.”
Iona said that too. Was she right? Is he right?
“Miss Eithne needs ye,” Callum said. “And I cannae go. You need to, though.”
Ivor glanced at the boy. “Ye’re a smart lad, ye ken. Are ye sure ye’ll be alright?”
