“Or,” Ivor went on. “We can take the back roads. It might be a wee bit safer to shake off any tail that we’ve still got. The only problem is that it means we willnae reach yer uncle and yer sister until the end of the week.”
Eithne hesitated. On the one hand, she felt like she couldn’t delay going to her sister’s side any longer. On the other, she’d already lost everything – why should she speed along losing Ivor, as well?
“I…think we should take the back roads,” she said. “To be safe.”
Ivor stilled in front of her. She couldn’t see his face since she was riding behind him on the horse, but she heard the smile in his voice as he said, “Aye. I agree. It’s for the best…to be safe.”
* * *
They set up camp that night in a wood-clearing using some of the supplies that the MacRyver’s had sent along with them. Ivor set the tarp over some sticks as he feared it might rain, and they both snuggled under it, using each other for warmth.
Ivor held Eithne close, feeling in his soul how close he was to the end of their time together. If he was honest, he just wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. So instead, they talked about the little things. They compared favorite colors – his was now ice-blue, hers the green of summer grass – and talked more about their history with Killian.
“I cannae believe ye kent me brother all that time, and we never met,” Eithne told him. The clouds were heavy and dark now, the rain ready to start any moment, and Ivor was more than aware of how close she was pressed to him for warmth. He supposed they could have found an inn, but this felt strangely more appropriate.
“I asked about meeting ye once,” Ivor confessed. He glanced at her, smiling at the surprise in her expression at his admittance. “Ye and yer sister. He spoke so highly of ye both, especially ye. But he wouldnae let me. ‘Nae yet,’ he’d say, ‘Nae until the time is right.’ I never got to ken from him what he was waiting for.”
Eithne was silent for so long that Ivor thought she might have fallen asleep in his arms. A moment later, though, she said, “I think I ken.”
“Oh?”
“Me brother, he was always so protective of me,” Eithne said, her voice wistful. Ivor ached to hear it, both for the loss of his friend and for the pain his lover was clearly feeling. “We fought as siblings do, but he’d have done anything to keep me safe and happy. I think…I think he wanted to wait until I was ready.”
“Ready?” Ivor asked gently.
“For ye,” Eithne told him. She looked up at him, and as he always was, Ivor found himself lost in those eyes. “Ready for ye, Ivor. Killian kent us both better than we ken ourselves, even. I think he kent that if we met, we’d fall in love. I think he was scared of ye stealing me away.”
Ivor chuckled. Thinking of Killian, it wasn’t too much of a stretch to believe that had been exactly what was in his lost friend’s mind. “And could I have?” he asked.
“Could ye have what?”
“Stolen ye away,” he said. “Would ye have left yer family behind and come away with me?”
“Aye,” Eithne said without hesitation. The word hung in the air, hopeful and shining for just a moment…then it crashed to the ground. “But that was before. Before me clan was gone. Before me sister had nobody left except me. Things are different now, Ivor.”
He sighed. The moment was broken. “Aye, I ken,” he said. “Dinnae worry yer head, me love. I didnae mean…I only wondered…”
Eithne nodded. “I ken. I wish it too. But…you could still stay with me.”
“Ye know very well that I cannae,” Ivor told her softly.
She didn’t say anything, just snuggled closer to her. Ivor sighed, kissing her hair.
Neither of them spoke for the rest of the night. Eventually, Eithne fell asleep, but Ivor could not close his eyes. The clouds broke, and the soft pattering of rain on the tarp above their heads was all he could hear or think about.
Eithne shifted a lot in her sleep. Ivor wondered what she was dreaming of and hoped it was something good. It seemed bizarre to him that only a little while ago, he’d hardly known this girl existed outside of Killian’s stories. Now, she filled most of the space in his heart, leaving only a gap for the mourning they both shared.
And now that she’s filled it, she has to leave it.
It had been foolish to start to feel such things for a girl he barely knew. He wasn’t truly in love yet, perhaps, but he could feel himself falling. Killian probably would have laughed at him.Ivorwould definitely have laughed if it had been the other way around, and Killian allowed himself to get so smitten with a girl he barely knew.
“Except I do ken ye, Eithne,” he whispered to her sleeping form. “I’ve kent ye since long before I met ye. Because yer confidence, yer bravery, that’s yer brothers. And the rest, what makesye…it’s the part that’s been missing from me soul me whole life.”
Maybe I could try it. Maybe I could stay at the keep and see what it does for me. It cannae hurt to try.
Of course it could. If he gave her hope and it went wrong…perhaps he should have left her with the MacRyvers. He should have cut it off before it got any worse, ended it before it caused them both any more pain. The MacRyver boys could have had her home quickly, and she’d soon have forgotten Ivor. And yet, selfishly, he’d needed to see out just a few days more at her side.
The rain got heavier, and Ivor closed his eyes. He’d barely had time to mourn his friend, and now he was going to lose his love too. It all seemed too much for one man to bear in such a short time.
