Even though he was smiling, Emer could see his dark eyes were full of an intense passion, barely held back, but with enough discipline inside the gaze that she was not afraid he would lose restraint if her desire did not match his own.
“Oh,” she whispered, “it’s so nice, more than nice, everything I’ve ever dreamed of, but...,”
“Oh nay,” Caillen joked, “dinnae tell me there’s a ‘but,’”
Emer could not stop giggling helplessly. This man always managed to find a way to make her laugh or itch to give him a piece of her mind!
“But...ye’re the Laird, and I’m a maid. Ye’re me master, and I’m in yer employ. I need time to think about how this makes me appear in the eyes of others, and, and...everything!”
He gave her waist one last squeeze and released her from his grasp.
“As much as I would like to say those things mean nothing to me, I have the feeling ye would be ready to bend me ear with all o’ yer objections, lass, so I’ll allow ye some time to consider yer-our-new position,” the quirky grin Caillen showed her when he said this reassured Emer he was not upset with her sudden reluctance to carry on kissing.
Her mind was in a whirl, and her body was still recovering from the way his kiss had made her feel. It was as if her situation and circumstances had tapped her abruptly on the shoulder to remind her what she was doing was possibly unwise.
Emer hated put-offs and excuses, so she was grateful when Caillen simply wrapped his arm around her waist and walked her to where Menzies was grazing. It was almost a companionable silence, and except for the slight protective tightness Emer felt Caillen’s arm give her, there was no other gesture to suppose him unhappy with her decision to go home.
She did not see the tussock in the grass and tripped. Caillen, still with a firm hold around her waist, caught her before she hit the ground. It was fortunate he did because it would have been a nasty fall otherwise. Emer’s feet had lifted off the grass, and she would have been splayed across the lawn if he was not for Caillen’s arm. She flailed helplessly for a second before her feet made contact with earth once more and could then rectify her balance.
For that brief time, Emer grabbed hold of Caillen’s kilt with her hands, trying desperately to stop the fall. Her cheek brushed against the tartan, and she inhaled the faded smell of lavender. There was no doubt in her mind that this man holding her and setting her gently back on her feet was the same one who had placed the first kiss she had ever had on her surprised lips.
The realization made her shy.
“I’m sorry to be such a bother..., if ye would be so kind as to carry me back to where Bessie is tethered..., I would be much obliged,” Emer found it hard to meet his gaze and was relieved when Caillen tossed her back into the saddle in a business-like fashion, saying,
“I’m takin’ ye home, lass, just in case there are any more bumps or hidden steps to hinder yer progress. I’ll send a groom to fetch yer palfrey. Then we will be back at the keep in time for supper, and none the wiser. What d’ye say to that.”
Feeling a bit less shy now, Caillen’s keen eyes were no longer looking at her as though she was a particularly tempting morsel he wanted to eat. Emer relaxed, leaned back with her head against his chest, and enjoyed the ride home.
When she saw the castle towers poking above the hills in front of her, Emer felt strange that the magnificent place was now very much her home. She looked forward to seeing the progress the builders had made that day. A certain amount of excitement welled up when she thought about the ideas she could give Caillen for his renovations. A conservatory, a greenhouse, a circular skylight at the top of a ceiling dome; now she knew all of his wealth had been made legitimately, although not without risk - no matter how lightly he wanted to disguise his adventures, Emer could not wait to help him turn the keep into a place of beauty.
Davinia was waiting for Emer in what used to be their shared bedchamber. Her face was wreathed in smiles, so Emer was assured Gawain had been working his charm on his previous maid. Davinia, so absorbed in her own good news, did not think to question why Emer had returned to the castle keep so late or how she had managed to squash her bonnet.
“The Laird explained to me that Gawain is nae longer happy with yer help and was sorry he ever let me go in the first place. He said Gawain was too shy and embarrassed to say this to me, but he regrets taking ye on! Can ye believe it? Gawain missed me and wanted me back. I cleaned his room and attended to his needs all day. It was heaven! I asked him about the kerchief, and he said he gave it to ye when ye bumped yer head-just as ye said. Are ye nae happy for me?”
Emer, very aware that none of Davinia’s supposed good news had actually come from Gawain himself, except the fact about the kerchief, returned her sister’s smile gladly,
“Y’see, Davi, it was all just a mistake. I...I’m sorry for any upset I caused ye. Will ye come back and sleep here again? The dairymaid snores loud enough to wake the dead.”
Both sisters laughed at this, and Davinia left to bring her clothing back into their little bedchamber. Emer was still glowing from her idyllic afternoon. So delightful the last half of the day had been, it had blocked out the memory of her failed attempt to follow Caillen to Lachlainn. But she was pleased to let bygones be bygones with her sister and relieved to have a friend in the castle once more.
But, was not Caillen a friend? After what had occurred between them that day, she was not sure how to describe him anymore. Everything had changed.
This much I do ken. He’s made his gold above the table, and he’s nae getting it from the Sutherlands. And for the life of me, I cannae see any dark purpose in the man. He’s generous with his time and money, and he seems to expend a lot of his energy on forging better trading links for everyone who lives within or close to his domains.
Emer made up her mind to go and tell Gawain what she thought of his silly suspicions on the morrow. She was tempted to add another mite of information to the report she planned on giving him: Gawain had too much time on his hands! It was playing havoc with whatever logical thought process he had before his brother arrived back at the keep to shoulder the responsibilities of Lairdship. Instead of allowing apprehension and misgivings to take over his life, Gawain should get out of his bedchamber and see how he could help his brother improve the castle and clan.
While waiting for Davinia, Emer let her thoughts drift to the comforting horse ride she and Caillen had shared together. As the evening dusk had crept into the sky and the breeze become sharp, he had unpinned the great kilt from his shoulder and wrapped it around both of them as Menzies plodded home. The horse did not have to be guided; Menzies knew its way back to the stables without having to be told. Caillen had leant to the side and pulled a small flask of whisky out of the saddlebag. He had offered it to her first, saying, “Dinnae fash, lass, Mistress Burroughs is nae here to scold us,” so she had taken a wee sip.
It had been such a cozy, happy way to spend the last few hours of their day out together-Emer did not want to ruin it by asking him the burning question she had in her mind-what had he been doing up in the turret on the night of the feast and why had he grabbed and kissed her?
When they reached the keep gateway, the guards stood to attention and let them pass. To spare Emer any awkward questions the next time she encountered a guard, which was every day because Caillen still had sentries posted outside the library, he covered her head with a portion of the great kilt. Emer gave a suppressed giggle under the tartan, and Caillen had given her waist a conspiratorial squeeze.
At the stables, he vaulted easily out of the saddle and reached up to lift Emer down.
It was now fully dark, and there were no stable hands or grooms to light their way with a lantern. But it did not matter; the moon was bright and rising steadily into the night sky. It provided them with enough light for walking and a few other things.
“May I have one last kiss to tide me over until the next time, Em?” Caillen said after guiding her carefully over the cobblestones in the stable yard.
