I still do.
It’s the first time I’ve felt anything but numbness in years. I don’t deserve it, butfuck, I crave it.
I rake a hand through my hair and exhale audibly. I need to try and sleep if I’m going to face my life tomorrow.
Resting my hand over my heart, I take a moment to recite the same silent prayer I do every night hoping that if there is peace to be had, that every soul here on earth and those lost, will find it.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Emma
I heardCase come home late last night.
After learning about Sandy’s baby and seeing the picture from Drake’s wedding, I thought about how different my life would be if I had stayed engaged to Beauregard.
Settling for someone I don’t love would have trapped me in a marriage that would have ended at some point.
I walked away because I knew it wasn’t right for me.
The kiss with Case was proof of that.
I felt more in that moment than I felt the entire time I was with Beau.
A knock at the apartment door lures my gaze in that direction.
I’m already dressed for the day in a pair of faded jeans and a simple blue sweater. My hair is in loose waves, and I only applied the bare essentials for makeup today. The pale pink lipstick and mascara I’m wearing will have to suffice. I don’t have the energy for more.
I swing open the door and find the face I was expecting.
Lester smiles. “Miss Owens, a good morning to you.”
“And to you.” I slide my hand into the front pocket of my jeans, hoping I have at least a few dollars in there.
I come up empty.
Lester watches my movements before he shoves a coffee and a bouquet of brightly colored flowers at me.
My heart skips a beat. It’s not because I’m in desperate need of a caffeine fix. It’s the flowers. They’re breathtaking. My gaze lands on the small white envelope. Case must have sent these. I’ve never received flowers from any man before other than my dad. He sent me a beautiful bunch of daisies the day I graduated from college.
“I took a walk over to Palla on Fifth and thought you might enjoy a coffee.”
Does that mean the coffee was his idea, and not Case’s?
“Thank you,” I offer because good manners are a gift to others.
I tell my students that. It’s wisdom passed on from my grandma.
“And these were just delivered.” He takes in the fragrance of the bouquet with a sniff of his nose over the blossoms.
Opening my palm, I wait for him to hand the flowers over.
“It looks like they came from Wild Lilac. It’s the favorite florist of many of our residents.” He glances at the flowers before his gaze settles on me. “The delivery person suggested I call you to come down to the lobby to get them, but I offered to bring them up.”
I don’t need to be hit over the head with a flashing neon sign. Lester wants a tip for his trouble.
I shift the coffee to my right hand so I can fish in my left pocket.
I tug on the bill I feel in there.
