“You know why. I left a note?—”
“I read your note.” His expression is controlled, but I can see everything underneath it—the rage, the hurt, something raw and desperate he’s holding together by sheer will. “I want to hear you say it to my face. Why did you leave?”
My throat closes. “Because I love you.”
“You have a fucked up way of showing it.”
I flinch.
“I’m protecting you?—”
“From what? Happiness?”
“From losing everything because of me.”
“I’m not losing anything.”
“Your mother, business deals, your brothers?—”
“None of it means a fucking thing without you!”
The words are loud and angry. They hit the walls andbounce back. He catches himself, reins in his temper, and when he speaks again, his voice is quieter. Harder in a different way.
“Why do you think I care more about money than I care about you?”
“Because money doesn’t disappoint!” The words tear out of me louder than anything I’ve ever said to anyone, and I’m shocked by the sound of my own voice shouting in this terrible room. “And eventually, you’ll realize…”
I stop.
The truth is right there. Rising to the surface.
Cillian is very quiet. “Realize what, Nora?”
I’m crying heavily now. My shoulders are shaking as I sob. “What everyone else realizes. Everyone. My mother left. My father sold me. Every person who was supposed to love me—gone. Every single one.”
“I’m not the one who left.”
“Not yet. But you will. Once you realize?—”
“Realize what?” he asks again.
I look at him. At this powerful, dangerous, beautiful man who came to a skid row motel room with dried blood on his knuckles and desperation in his eyes.
“That I’m not worth it.”
The words land in the room and sit there.
My hand goes to my mouth. I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I can’t take it back, and it’s the truest, most terrible thing I know about myself.
Cillian moves. His hands cup my face, tilting it up, forcing me to look at him.
“Listen to me.” His voice is rough. “Are you listening?”
I nod. Tears slide down my cheeks and onto his thumbs.
“You are worth everything to me. There is no dollar amount I would trade you for. To me, you are priceless.”
“Do you really mean that?”
