The pregnancy test sat on the edge of my bathroom sink. I'd been staring at it for two minutes and thirty seconds. The box said to wait three, but I already knew what it would say. My period was seven days late; I'd thrown up multiple times this week, and my boobs hurt so bad I couldn't sleep on my stomach anymore. Wren's push toward taking this test was the nudge I needed to get over the anxiety hump I'd been sitting on for days.
My one choice to take something I wanted for once had started what seemed to be an avalanche of negative consequences, culminating in today's showdown between Kade and Brandon behind the bakery. I was just glad Brandon had the sense to get back in his car and drive away. If he'd stayed, I was sure there would've been bloodshed and he'd have really hurt Kade badly.
The timer on my phone went off, and I picked up the test. Two pink lines stared back at me, and I set it back down before pressing my hands over my face. A sinking feeling of dread weighed me down, though it only confirmed what I’d already feared. Tears came and I didn't try to stop them. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. It was like the universe waspurposefully raining bad things on my life because I couldn’t leave well enough alone and settle for what it gave me in my relationship with Brandon.
I pushed back and demanded something better and this was where it got me—stuck in a situation that felt so overwhelming.
I'd always wanted to be a mother, but I'd imagined doing it after I got married, with someone I loved, in a real house with a yard and a room I could turn into a nursery. Not in a cramped apartment, not alone, and not with a man I'd known for one drunken night in Vegas. Now I wasn't sure what life looked like or what I'd have to go through to put things back in some semblance of order.
No funding for my bakery, no dedicated fiancé to lean on for support, and all of that stacked with a surprise pregnancy...
My phone buzzed on the counter and my mother's name flashed across the screen for the third time in an hour. I let it go to voicemail because I knew she'd want to tell me Brandon stopped by the house again or asked about me at church, and she'd tell me he was trying so hard and didn't I think I should give him another chance? We'd had that conversation five times in the last two weeks and I couldn't do it again. It was like she didn't believe me when I told her he’d slept with another woman. And it was heartbreaking.
I stood up and walked out of the bathroom after tossing the test into the bin. Wren would be here soon, so she'd be the first to learn about how bad I really had screwed up my life. At least I knew I could count on her to keep this quiet until I was ready to deal with the consequences. Facing my parents' disappointment would feel like being crushed. Before I walked into that, I had to be okay with myself again.
My place was a bit of a mess. The takeout container from lunch still sat on the coffee table, and my comfort hoodie lay on the back of the chair where I’d shed it this morning on the way to the shower to get ready for work. I hadn’t done dishes in a few days either, though with how upset I'd been and feeling sick, I’d barely thought about cleaning.
I started picking up, knowing my sister would be here before too long to check on me, but three steps into the kitchen to toss out the trash my doorbell rang. I grabbed a tissue to wipe my face and headed toward the front door. Wren must've finished up faster than I thought, or maybe she just put the batter away and decided not to bake that last round of cupcakes tonight.
She’d probably brought a bottle of wine and a container of Ben and Jerry’s, but I'd have to skip the wine, considering. It would be the easiest opening to the hardest conversation of my life.
I unlocked the door and pulled it open, but instead of seeing the concerned face of my sister, I stared into the eyes of Kade Kingston.
"What are you doing here?" I asked, frozen in place. I swallowed hard and glanced up the hallway. If one of my neighbors saw a man like him standing on my doorstep I'd have to move. Gossip hounds would make my life implode with pictures in the tabloids.
He looked uncomfortable, his hands in his pockets and his shoulders tense. "Can I come in?"
I glanced back at my apartment. Bills covered the coffee table and my bra was hanging over the back of a chair where I'd tossed it when I got home. But the thought of someone seeing him here felt worse somehow. "I wasn't expecting anyone."
"I know, and I should've called." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "I wanted to talk?—"
I reached out and grabbed his wrist and pulled him through the door, shutting it behind him so fast it made my hair dance in the breeze it created. This was the last thing I needed right now. My brain was already in overdrive after learning I was pregnant, and now I had to face the man who’d knocked me up and try to keep a straight face. There was no way I could tell him right now.
"I'm sorry about what I said to Brandon," he said as he turned to face me. "I know it wasn't my place, and I shouldn't have gotten involved."
I locked the door and leaned against it. I was too tired to pretend I was fine. "You're apologizing?"
"Yeah, I crossed a line."
A laugh came out before I could stop it. Hearing Kade Kingston say he was sorry was surreal. Men like him didn't apologize for things; they lived their lives selfishly. But he'd honestly done me a favor. "You did something I couldn't do myself." Pushing off the door, I ran both hands through my hair and prayed he couldn’t tell I'd been crying.
He frowned at me. "What do you mean?"
"I've been trying to tell Brandon to leave me alone for weeks and he won't listen." I crossed my arms over my chest, making my boobs hurt, and gritted my teeth so I wouldn't wince. "You said it once and he actually heard it, so thank you." Of course, what I didn't tell Kade was that I hadn't said a word to Brandon about having slept with someone else on my wedding night. Wren was the only soul in the world who knew other than Kade.
He didn't look convinced. "You're not mad?"
"I'm not mad, I'm just tired." I moved to the couch and started pushing laundry aside to make room. My back hurt, there was no way to get rid of Kade without being entirely rude, and we did have an annulment to talk about.
"Tired of what?" Kade followed me toward my messy living room. The thought of him knowing how bad my mental health had gotten simply by seeing how messy my place was made my cheeks burn.
"Everything." I sat down and put my face in my hands to hide some of the burning. I was unburdening myself to a stranger, but he felt safe, the way it'd felt that night when I poured my broken heart out to him. "You heard him. He's going to take back all his funding and my bakery's going under. I promised the hospital I'd donate a thousand cupcakes for their cancer research fundraiser and I can't even afford the ingredients now. That event was supposed to be my big break, my chance at real publicity in Vegas."
The words kept coming and I couldn't stop them. "It was my way to finally stand on my own. All businesses need capital to get started, but at some point I have to do it on my own. The publicity from that fundraiser was supposed to get Bake Me Happy self-sustaining so my stability wouldn't rise and fall on whether Brandon and I were getting along well."
My voice broke as I continued. "Do you know how many people are counting on me? The hospital's been promoting this for months and they sold tickets for it. There's no way to get someone else to do this many cupcakes on this short notice. And I'm going to let them all down because my ex decided to punish me for leaving."
I was crying again and everything I'd been holding back came pouring out. Wren was right; I was too emotional. I never got like this, especially not in front of other people. Especially not strangers like Kade.
