“I really honestly don’t know. The air must be muddling my head, or maybe I’ve been bitten by something and this is simply a fever dream.”
“I thought you were the leader of the pack?” I ask, following my thoughts to the events of yesterday.
“I am, but we are a family. We decide together.”
I hear that warning. They all rejected me. It wasn’t one. It stings, but I push it away because I don’t want to think about that right now.
“Why did you kneel-” I stop myself, hating the fact that my curiosity has me asking such ridiculously personal questions.
“I kneel because I want to,” Vale whispers in my ear. “I submit because I choose to. And if he’d told me to bend over and spread my cheeks, well, I would have done that, too, because he’s a damn good fuck, and he’s got a huge cock.”
I scoff and struggle out of his arms, trying to find a lifeline that can stop me from melting down because, holy shit, I might pass out if he says anything more.
How long has it been since I got laid? Six months? Too long. I should have followed Meg’s advice and gone and gotten the itch out of my system.
I freeze when his scent hits me. I haven’t got far from him. His huge hands are still on my hips. When I was young, my father would bring us out, and we’d go camping, and during those times, he would get us to write down a dream. We’d throw that paper into the fire, and that smell would be part of my dream.
Vale smells like burning paper. He smells like my dreams.
That alone has me wrenching myself away from him. I refuse to relive losing him again.
I walk into camp and pick up my bag. The fire is out, but I check it one last time to make sure, and then signal to the group to move out.
“Today we’re going to go through some of my favourite spots. So, it’s going to be a good day. Make sure to stay hydrated and check on each other.”
Nathan snorts a laugh.
I wait for him to say anything, but he doesn’t bother. Aside from the four alphas I detest, the other three are strange. They stay together, hang out together, and don’t really interact with the others. Quincy is clear as day the most cheerful beta I’ve ever met, but he’s also desperate for their approval, which I find strange. Kendall is more worried about himself, but it’s Justin who worries me. Quiet, reclusive, depressed, even.
Dad says I should maintain a professional distance from them, but when we’re out here like this, sometimes I feel like I’m a bit of a therapist and crisis coach on top of all my other roles.
I can see I may well be utilizing those skills this trip.
“There’s a story about an old hiker who came out here about forty years ago. Some stories say he was an alpha, some say beta, but he came out here looking for something and never went home.”
“So, he died?” Nathan asks.
“No,” I say with a chuckle. “He built this.” I lead them around a bend and reveal the old cabin that very few people know about.
“Wow!” Rojer walks forward, peering at it intently. “He lived out here?”
“For thirty years on his own. They recovered diaries. The real story is a bit more heartbreaking. He had an omega who died and lost everyone he loved, so he just came out here and existed.”
“Was he happy?”
“Hmm?” I ask, turning to face Cyn.
“Was the alpha happy out here on his own?”
“Yes. His diaries say he found purpose. He felt like he became a gatekeeper and a protector of this world.”
“You admire him?”
Cyn brushes his golden hair behind his ears and looks past me to the cabin.
“Of course, it was not an easy life.”
The story is much romantasized. The truth is a lot harsher. My great-grandfather was a mean drunk, and when he killed his omega, family took in my granddad while they drove my great-granddad out of the community. He came out to the park to hide from the hatred everyone felt for him.
