I blink at her. "What?"
Shae crosses her arms, her expression shifting into something that reminds me why even Bronn listens when she uses that tone. "You think you're being respectful by staying away. Giving her time to process what happened. But all you're actually doing is confirming her worst fears."
"Which are?"
"That she's too broken. That she panicked, pushed you away, and you haven't seemed to care about her since."
The words hit like a physical blow. "That's not—I never said?—"
"You didn't have to say anything. You just disappeared." Shae's gaze turns knowing. "Ressa spent weeks learning to trust you. Learning that you'd show up consistently, that you wouldn't abandon her when things got hard. And then she had one panic attack and you vanished."
"She told me to leave?—"
"And you did. Immediately. Without question." Shae moves closer, her voice gentling slightly. "I understand why. You were trying to respect her boundaries. But Falla, that female has been abandoned by everyone who was supposed to protect her. Her settlement turned their backs when the Stonevein took her. Hercaptors treated her like garbage. And now the one person who made her feel safe has given space to spiral alone because she freaked out when she thought you understood her better than that. I know you are trying to do the right thing. But you two have not done a good job figuring out what that is."
Guilt knots in my stomach. "I thought she needed time."
"She does. But not away from you." Shae's hand finds my shoulder, warm and grounding. "The reason she started healing wasn't because you gave her space. It was because you showed up consistently and refused to let her hide. You made her feel safe by being present, not by staying away."
I think about those weeks of check-ins. How Ressa had protested at first, insisted she didn't need me there. And I'd shown up anyway because she clearly did need someone, even if she couldn't admit it.
Had kept showing up until she stopped protesting. Until she started expecting my presence. Until we'd built something I'd convinced myself was real.
Ressa started to come out of her shell with more time around me. Not space. When she panicked, I showed her I was right there. And everything that happened between us wasn't because I was healing her. It was because I was there for her.
I knew she was scared this whole time, but I thought it was ofme. Of something I'd done. But maybe, I have been looking at it all wrong.
"She pushed me away because she was scared," I say slowly, understanding clicking into place. "Not because she wanted me gone."
"Exactly." Shae's expression turns sympathetic. "And by leaving without a fight, you confirmed that her fear was justified. That being vulnerable with you was a mistake. That wanting you means abandonment when things get hard. You showed her orcsweren't all violence and abuse, but she needs to know that she can be vulnerable and that's safe, too."
Her words make my chest constrict. "I didn't mean to?—"
"I know. But intent doesn't matter when the result is both of you miserable and alone." She squeezes my shoulder. "So stop giving her space to spiral and go talk to her."
"What if she doesn't want to see me?"
"Then you convince her otherwise." Shae's smile turns knowing. "You're good at that, remember? Convinced her to be your partner for the week when she was terrified of leaving her cabin. Convinced her she was safe with you through every panic attack. This is no different."
"This feels very different."
"Only because the stakes are higher." Her tone turns gentle. "But that's exactly why you can't give up. Ressa needs someone who'll fight for her even when she's pushing them away. Someone who won't abandon her the moment things get hard."
"I wasn't abandoning her?—"
"I know. But she doesn't. Not when you disappeared for four days without a word."
The truth of that sits heavy in my chest. I'd been so focused on respecting her boundaries, on not pressuring her, that I'd forgotten the most important thing—Ressa needs consistency. Needs to know I'm not going anywhere even when she's scared.
"Where is she?"
Shae's smile widens. "Now you're asking the right questions."
The directions Shaegives me lead away from Ressa's cabin, toward the eastern edge of the settlement where there’s the small clearing I led Ressa to during her first panic attack. I don't understand why she'd be out here instead of hiding in her home, but Shae had been certain.
"Trust me," she'd said. "Just go."
So I go, my boots crunching through the grass as afternoon sunlight filters through the branches. The air carries that particular scent of early spring—wet earth and new growth and possibility.
