“Why?”
“I might be running things, but it’s still my uncle’s company. He has ideas about what he wants and how to do things, and without his permission, I can’t change that.” It was so freaking frustrating. Either he trusted me or he didn’t, and if he did, then he needed to let me run things the way I saw fit. At least until I messed something up, then he’d have every right to step in. He had issues with letting go, and that was probably the biggest problem. I wondered if he’d feel different if he didn’t care so much about me, and maybe it all got mixed up in his head. It sure was mushed up in mine. I couldn’t be upset by it though, since he was one of the adults in my life that did pay attention to me.
And now so was Daddy. “I get it.” He kissed the side of my head. “That’s all you can do for now. How about we grab dinner?”
“We can go to my place. Rob is out with Preston, and it’s closer.”
“Great. Let’s go.”
We stopped and picked up pizza on the way home, because it was such a crappy day, Daddy Nate said that made pizza an even better choice since it was my favorite. He was right, no argument there, not to mention the fact my brain was on overload and I was just done.
After we ate, we went into my room. “It’s been a tough day. Can I have my Daddy-binky?”
“Of course. Whatever you want, baby boy.”
“How did I get so lucky?”
“I was thinking the same thing, Gilly.” He ruffled my hair then got ready and climbed onto my small bed.
“Really? I don’t feel like you’re the lucky one at all. I’m too needy.”
“You’re not, but I like meeting your needs and…” He got a weird expression on his face.
“What?”
“I was going to say giving you love, but it’s too early for that, isn’t it?”
Love? I didn’t know and didn’t think it mattered right now. Maybe that meant it was too early, even though he didn’t say he lovedme. He said he likedgivingme love, and I liked getting his love right back, so we were on the same page with that. I stripped down to my boxers and crawled onto his lap. “I don’t know, but being in love and giving someone love aren’t the same things, are they?”
“No, I guess not. You’re such a smart boy.”
I didn’t know about that, but since sucking from Daddy was so comforting, being all tucked in against his chest with his arms wrapped around me, I let it go. His warm milk always made me sleepy. I popped my binky in and cuddled my Ellie the Elephant, while Daddy Nate held me tight. He set an alarm on his phone, and I slipped into sleep.
It was a great night but didn’t solve my problems long-term.
12
NATE
I headed out to the gym with Eric, my buddy from the Lactin Brotherhood group. It was easier to work out with someone who also lactated. We would understand the leaking without asking fifty million questions that we didn’t want to answer. Physical activity was in order to help clear my mind, and thankfully, he was free.
“Eric!” I called out as he glanced around the gym.
“Hey, man. Ready to get this rolling?”
We started with bicep curls, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Gilly the entire time. So much for freeing my thoughts. I’d been thrilled that he trusted me enough to come help him with his business, but I did not like what I saw there. His profit margin was entirely too thin, and I feared they’d inevitably have to close the business. There was no coming back from numbers like that without a lot of help.
“Hey? What’s wrong with you?” Eric asked after we switched machines. Clearly, my head wasn’t in it, and I was merely going through the motions.
“Sorry, man. I’m concerned about my boy.” How did I explain his situation without compromising Gilly’s trust? “His expenses are barely covered by his income because his business is failing, and he’s kind of stuck there since it’s a family thing, and it’s bugging me.”
“That’s why you wanted to work out, huh? Need an escape from circling thoughts?”
“Something like that, but it doesn’t seem to be helping.” Nothing was. I was a natural caretaker, a fixer if you will, and this fix was out of my circle of influence, which weighed heavily on me.
Eric sat the weights down and stood, fists planted on his hips. “Well, if you ask me, it’s all about how you handle it. If he wants advice, give it, but ask him first, don’t just push it on him. You know? I learned the hard way; they don’t like that. Also, be sure to praise him when you ask. All boys like praise.”
“You’re not wrong.” Simple Daddy 101 reminders, yet this Daddy had forgotten them.
