“Why do you sound so surprised? I’m kind of mad that no one has treated you well.”
I shrugged. “I don’t usually let people treat me well. I got that from my dad probably. He’s a fixer. Wants to be the man to solve all the problems, even when people don’t want him to, which is most of the time. If he’s not trying to fix everything, he’s ignoring you.”
“Mmm…I understand that some because I tend to do the same thing. I’m a Daddy by nature, a caretaker. I feel good when I’m helping others or making them happy. But being a natural fixer doesn’t mean people can treat you poorly. He shouldn’t have ignored you, Gilly.”
“You make me happy all the time, and you don’t push me. I may play Little, but I’m still an adult. It feels like you understand and respect that.” It didn’t feel like he was trying to run my whole life at all but was more like what Rob had originally said, he was trying to make it better for me.
“Of course I do.” Daddy Nate turned off the car and stared at his cute house. “Well, come on. Let’s go inside and eat. Then we can talk about more toys for good boys.” He winked at me.
“Daddy?”
“Yes?” he asked, unlocking the front door.
“Thank you for liking me.”
He grabbed me and hugged me tightly, squeezing until it was hard to breathe. “You are so, so easy to like.” When he let me go and kissed the top of my head, all the swirlies spiraled around in my tummy again. I was so happy and so terribly afraid I was going to lose this at the same time.
The lactating sitch had been eye-opening and ended up being something I liked a lot. Probably because of my oral fixation. I’d thought that was only because of the Little in me, but maybe it was something more. The good thing was that I didn’t have to figure it out. Not with Daddy Nate. I didn’t worry about my binky or having a bottle, because he was right there offering up his milk or grabbing my binky for me.
When dinner was over, we cuddled on the couch, but it didn’t take long for him to pull off his shirt and his pad thingies, wiping off with a wet wipe to get it all clean—no more sweaty Daddy—and letting me latch on like I’d been doing it forever and with zero shame. Guess I was a natural just like Daddy said.
Daddy held me and ran his fingers through my crazy hair. The soothing motion calmed my brain, and I drifted off.
10
NATE
Gilly grabbed my heart and wasn’t going to let go, nor did I want him to. What I wanted was to help him embrace that Little inside of him. He was entitled to it. I wanted him to trust me and to give him the world. I thought about going shopping and buying a bunch of prezzies for him, but I didn’t want to get things he didn’t want, so I made a plan instead.
When Gilly arrived, I opened the door, anticipating him. “Hi, Gilly. How was your day?”
He groaned and rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“That bad, huh?”
He nodded and pulled his lips between his teeth.
“Don’t.” I touched his mouth, tapping until he released that abused flesh. “I have something planned that will make you feel better.”
His golden-brown eyes lit up. “A surprise? For me?”
“Yes, for you. Come on, silly boy.” I took his hand and led him into the front room that served as my office and pulled an extra chair around to my side of the desk and patted the seat. “Here.”
He dropped his bag by the door and circled around, sitting where I asked.
“Good boy. Now, let’s see what we can do about your toy issue.”
“I didn’t know I had a toy issue.”
“Pfft…not with me around.” I clicked my mouse and brought up the best site I could find. First, I typedEllie the Elephantin the search bar, and Gilly merrily clapped his hands. “Let’s put some things in the cart. Ooh…how about this one?” It was a T-shirt, actually in adult sizes. I clicked on large, but he quickly corrected me.
“No. Small.”
“How can you need a small?” Even though he was shorter than me and skinny, I didn’t think he was tiny by any means.
“See?” He stood and turned around, fiddling with the tag on the shirt he was wearing. I got up and looked. Sure enough, adult small.
“Okay. Small.” I found two shirts and a pair of Keds shoes, but when I got to the shorts, we went through the size issue again. It was a good thing I waited for him, he was smaller than I thought. His waist was thin, possibly too thin. I vowed right then and there to make sure my boy ate three square meals a day and nursed more often too.
