I owe it to Den to be honest. She's always been with me, even when her relationship with Tyler was confusing, she confided in me how she felt. I knew she was in love with him before she did. "I like him. There's something about him that I really like, Cadence."
"Don't sound so cheery about it," she jokes on a smile. "You're frowning, Soph. You look miserable. If you like him and he likes you, what's the problem?"
She knows my dating history. I've never gotten close enough to any man to even consider marriage, but I did love someone once. His name was Jeremiah. I met him during my second year of college. He was an associate professor and although he never taught me in the classroom, the lessons he left me with have been long lasting.
I was drawn to him because of who he was around campus. He was bold and sexy. His approach to teaching was aggressive. He was granted tenure at just thirty-years-old and during the months before we broke up, he invested almost every waking minute working on a short film. It was a documentary, about repressed memories, a subject he'd always been fascinated with.
After the film's local release in Florida, it caught the attention of people nationwide. With every compliment and rave review he received, his interest in me waned until he finally dumped me on a rainy Wednesday night because he thought our relationship was impeding his pending fame. The entire experience left me with a bitter taste in mouth.
"What if he ends up being like Jeremiah?" I ask aloud, even though I know the question has no merit. Nicholas has already found fame and fortune. That part of his life is firmly in place and what we are nurturing doesn't hinge on his success.
She scoops the last bite of salad in her mouth and chews. Her eyes stay trained on my face until she swallows. "You know I dated that idiot Brendon before I met Tyler. They're both chefs, but that's where the similarities end. If I would have had a no dating chefs rule, I never would have fallen in love with Tyler and little Firi wouldn't exist."
I know that punishing Nicholas for a brief failed relationship in my past is wrong. It's not his fault that I once fell in love with another creative person. "Tyler's pretty cocky, isn't he?"
"Very cocky." She rolls her eyes. "He has every right to be. He's a wizard in the kitchen. I'm amazed by his talent.
"Does it ever bother you?"
"That he's cocky?" she asks with a chuckle. "It used to but I realized that I'm insanely attracted to that part of him. I love that he gets how good he is. He owns it. It's hot."
It is hot. The more I learn about Nicholas, the more I see that he's proud of his gift. He doesn’t shy away from the fact that he's built an empire that has essentially been born from his own thoughts. It's an accomplishment that not many men can stake claim to.
"I don't want him to hurt me, Den." I shake my head. "He's the kind of guy I could fall hard for."
She moves both our plates aside before she reaches for my hands. "I know it's not easy to just put yourself out there but if you like him, I think it's worth the risk."
"Will you come over and console me when he dumps me?"
"I will," she concedes. "For the record, I don't see that happening. You're strong, Sophia. Give yourself some credit. You can let yourself feel things and if it doesn't work out between you two, it won't destroy you. You still have me and you'll always be a kick ass designer."
I know she's right. I'm stronger than I was when Jeremiah ended our relationship. I can let myself feel things with Nicholas and if it all goes to hell, I'll pick myself up, brush myself off and still become the next big name in the fashion world.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Nicholas
My initial planfor this evening was to have dinner with Sophia, but she's got something going on that doesn't include me. I can't say I was surprised when she sent me that text message yesterday saying she was busy tonight. The woman could write a book on how to play hard to get. It should bother me enough that I give up on her and move on, but the challenge is too enticing. I want her and it's not just because I can't have her at the moment.
I've kissed hundreds of women in my life. Until the other day, I thought I possessed the ability to kiss a woman and walk away. I can't do that with Sophia. The kiss we shared only made me want her more. That hasn't changed.
What has changed is my method to try and distract myself from the non-stop thoughts of her that have overtaken my life. I managed to write a few thousand words early this morning but then my focus went to shit when I passed by the piano on my way to the kitchen.
I needed out of the apartment, so I fled. I walked through Central Park until I found myself on Fifth Avenue. A quick trip up the elevator of one of the most prestigious buildings on the block and I was in the office of an old friend.
Crew Benton, a guy I went to high school with, sought me out on social media a few months ago after he ran into Liam. We reignited our friendship and when I stopped by his office at Matiz Cosmetics earlier today, he invited me to join him tonight at a club he's investing in. He's hosting the soft launch and as much as I try to avoid the club scene unless I'm looking to hook-up, I agreed to tag along.
My motivation has everything to do with Sophia. I want a reprieve from the longing and I can't think of a better place than a club to make that a reality.
"Veil East," Crew says into his phone, his hand raking through his black hair. "I bought a club in Vegas, rebranded it as Veil West and you can fill in the blanks from there."
He rolls his eyes as he motions toward the bar. "I don't give a shit if you quote me directly or not. I want a feature piece on the front page of your website. You agreed to that so don't fuck with me now."
I laugh aloud as I listen to him talk to whoever the poor soul on the other end of that call is.
"Get me a scotch, Nick," he says as he moves the phone away from his mouth. "Order whatever you want. Drinks are on the house tonight."
"Fucking billionaire show off," I jest. "I'm ordering a bottle of whatever costs the most."
