The only clothes I have here are those that I could fit into my duffel bag. I stuffed that with more underwear, two pairs of jeans and a bunch of T-shirts before I left the apartment I shared with Matilda.
I had no idea where I’d end up that night until I called my youngest brother.
I didn’t even try and keep it together. I sobbed into the phone and he told me to head over to his place.
He was waiting on the sidewalk in front of his building with open arms and a beer.
“Julian stopped by my office yesterday.” He sighs. “He wanted to know what’s up with you. He said you’ve been avoiding him.”
I have no idea what Matilda has told her sister about me. I don’t give two shits if Julian will never speak to me again after breaking Matilda’s heart.
What I do care about is whether Matilda is all right.
“He doesn’t know about Matilda.” His hands dive into the front pockets of his pants when he stands. “He was saying something about inviting you two to dinner with him and Maya to talk wedding plans.”
Shit. Their wedding.
I have to stand and stare at Matilda while two people we love promise to commit themselves to one another forever.
“Why wouldn’t she have told him what I did?” I look up at my brother.
He shakes his head. “Because she loves you. She doesn’t want to come between you and your best friend. It’s the same reason she talked to the Dean of Admissions at NYU Law about you. This woman wants the best for you.”
The sharp tone of his voice doesn’t surprise me.
When I came home from work two days ago and showed him the envelope that had been hand-delivered to me in the squad room by Ronald Hixon, he didn’t say a word for a solid ten minutes.
Once he did speak, his message was clear.
He told me I fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me and I need to find a way to get Matilda back.
I can’t do that.
I won’t risk her safety for my happiness.
“What if this is tearing her up inside?” he asks as he heads toward the door of his apartment. “Have you thought about that? What if she’s in as much pain as you are? Can you live with knowing you caused that?”
The questions bring me to my feet. My hand grazes the full beard on my chin. “I don’t want that, but I can’t keep her safe, Liam.”
He turns back to look at me. “How many times was Dad threatened when he was on the job? He didn’t push anyone away. He held onto Mom tighter. He held us closer.”
I stare at him, listening to every word he’s saying.
“Have you asked her where she feels safest?” He points a finger at me. “Stop making decisions for her. Tell her what’s going on and let her be the one to decide if you’re worth the risk.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
Tilly
“I hate leaving.”Kate looks beyond my shoulder at my empty apartment. “Why don’t you give me a few minutes alone in his bedroom? I can have everything packed up and sent to him in no time flat.”
I love that she wants to protect me in that way, but it’s my responsibility to take care of Sebastian’s things.
I have no idea where he’s staying now so an hour ago I sent him a short text message.
Tilly: I need to know where to send your things.
I don’t have to look at the screen of my phone to know that he hasn’t replied yet. I’ve had the volume set to maximum since he walked out of here because I don’t want to miss his call or text.
