I smile for the first time in more than a week.
Tilly: I could be here for hours yet.
Kate: The martinis will keep me company.
“I feel like an idiot.”I sip on the glass of soda I ordered when I got to the bar. I was tempted to go for something stronger, but I’m scared that if I start pouring alcohol down my throat, that I won’t stop.
It was my go-to pain reliever after my break-up with Boyd. I won’t fall into that trap again.
“Because you fell in love with him?” Kate runs her fingers over her chin. “Don’t beat yourself up because you loved Sebastian.”
Love. I still love him.
“It’s not just that.” I look around the crowded bar. It’s the same bar that I was at weeks ago with Sebastian when he took a fist to his face.
It was the night of our first kiss and I could see forever in the distance.
Now, I only see loneliness and confusion.
“We were here one night.” I point at the table in the corner where Sebastian and I sat. “We had our first kiss right over there.”
She turns to glance over her shoulder. “Are you serious?”
“I am.” I attempt a weak smile.
“I’m a horrible best friend.” She pushes back her chair. “We’re getting out of here. Let’s go.”
“No.” I reach to grab her hand to still her in place. “I don’t want to go.”
She hesitates. “You don’t have to be brave.”
My gaze slides over to the bar and the same redheaded bartender that was here the night Sebastian kissed me. “I’m not brave.”
“I asked you to come live with me temporarily, and you refused so you could stay in the apartment you shared with the man you love. Now, I’m telling you we should get the hell out of here and you’re still in that chair.”
I glance at her. I see the concern in her eyes. It’s been a constant since the night Sebastian left and I called her begging her to come over.
She did. She crawled into bed next to me and held my hand while I wept through the night.
“Running away from memories only gives them more power. “I sip my soda. “I’m facing them. I have to.”
She nudges her chair closer to the table. “Fine. We’ll face them together.”
“I did something the day before he left.” I cup my hand around the soda glass.
“What did you do?”
“I tried to make his dream come true.” I shake my head. “He made so many of mine come true that I wanted to make one of his a reality.”
She downs what’s left of the drink in her glass. “What does that mean, Tilly?”
“When we were here that night he told me that his dream was to be a prosecutor. One of his friends told me the same. He said that Sebastian talks to him about becoming a lawyer.” I close myeyes briefly to ward off the regret I’ve been feeling for the past week.
“A lawyer? That’s surprising.”
I nod. “The day before he broke up with me he told me he was planning on meeting someone to talk about his future. I assumed he meant becoming a lawyer so when I went to work that day and saw the Dean of Admissions for NYU Law I thought it was fate.”
“You saw who at work?”
